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Rating:     
Review
Ah, clowns. For all of the joy and laughter they attempt to bring to children and adults alike, one just cannot help but be creeped out by them. Perhaps it’s the incessant, unwavering smile; it makes it impossible to gauge their emotions, so we see them as sociopathic machines. Maybe it’s the ingrained fear that they are all John Wayne Gacy under the white face and red nose. Regardless of the reason, clowns are fucking scary, and Director Marcus Koch takes advantage of this fact in his 2007 film, 100 Tears.
Gurdy is the king badass of your killer clown genre. Using a cartoon-sized meat cleaver, he out-butchers Pennywise, the Killer Klowns from Outer Space, and Pogo the Clown combined, and within the first quarter of the movie. Killing with indifference, Gurdy mercilessly disembowels girls, slaughters invalids, and tortures teens for the length of the movie. And it never gets old.
Sure, there’s more story to the story (something about tabloid reporters and midgets), but 100 Tears’ true brilliance shines through in the relentless blood-letting and the quite believable and disgusting special effects and makeup. No CGI here, kids; this movie is filled with good, old-fashioned latex-head decapitations and fake-blood bonanzas.
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Tags: camp horror, clown, creepy, Horror, marcus koch, scary clown, serial killer, slasher, WTF

A few months ago we began experimenting with Amazon’s Mechanical Turk program. Basically, what the service does is allow users to upload a set of tasks and then pay users small fees to complete the tasks. The service was designed to help folk with repetitive tasks that are pretty simple for humans, but extremely difficult for computers. Most of the tasks are things like “Describe this picture above” or “Is the item above suitable for users under the age of 18?” Human Intelligence Tasks (HITs) are paid by the answer, normally tiny little amounts like $0.01 per HIT or something like that. I don’t know why people sign up and do this, but they do… I guess it’s slightly more productive than playing with your facebook farm during lunch. ANYWAY, we decided to try it out on content generation. The idea was that we would create HITs that were vastly more complex than the normal ones. We asked the Tukers to actually watch our movies that we store here on the site for reviews, then using our review format, write a well thought-out review. The kicker? We offered $1 per review! Now, strangely enough some of them actually came out pretty well, but that wasn’t the best part. Was was even better than the good, were the bad. Some of them were SO bad that we’ve decided to share them with you here on the site. Over the next few weeks we’ll be recording one of our interns, Mr. Adam Ballzee, try and read you some of the best of the worst, then edit and upload them for your enjoyment.
The Cultflicks.net Staff
Tags: Mechanical Turk, News, WTF

Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, while maybe not so awful it would make you want rip out your eyes with wasabi-tipped chopsticks, it is most certainly way overhyped. Even A-list celebrities (Alec Baldwin, Ving Rhames, and Steve Buscemi) and state of the art CGI aren’t enough to make this movie watchable more than once. A bland story line that’s not up to par with any of the games makes me wish that I hadn’t doled out my eight bucks to see this in the theater.
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Tags: bad movie, cgi, cross over, gamer moives, good bad movies, sexy, vampire, why did they make that, WTF, zombie
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