CultFlicks.net

Rating:

Review

Christian Slater goes against character type by playing a bad boy, and Winona Ryder goes against character type by playing a a witty goth “against the norm” girl in this High School dark comedy. Ok, so Heathers isn’t breaking stereotypes of reinventing its own wheel, but it does offer a peculiar look at a peculiar subject with a wit and charm that very few films could put together. Suicide is one of the untouchables. So it is remarkable that the cast and filmmakers crafted something so honestly enthralling and funny without being taboo and pretentious. In 1989, this is quite a feat. Heathers touches on reigning High School topics without being stuffy or egotistical, and manages to craft an addicitive and charming story through all the quirkiness.

Reason to Watch

Lots of attractive High School girls that we can only hope are much older in real life than the age they play on television. It also allows us to make fun of High schoolers without having to pull up to our old High School in beat-up Chevy’s to tell them ourselves.

Context

Heathers is dark, weird, and potentially too niche for everyone to relate to. Unlike something like The Breakfast Club, which is too catch-all to ctach anyone off guard, Heathers is darker and more twisted in construction and execution. The context, truly, is that Heathers holds little back, and succeeds brilliantly because of it.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• Veronica Sawyer: It’s one thing to want someone out of your life, but it’s another thing to serve them a wake-up cup full of liquid drainer. 
• Heather Chandler: You wanted to be a member of the most powerful clique in school. If I wasn’t already the head of it, I’d want the same thing. 
• Heather Chandler: Grow up Heather, bulimia’s so ’87. 

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

If you are not a High School girl, and never have been, a current High School girl or a girl who was in High School in the 80’s will do just fine. if you are or were a total nerd, this movie may go right over your head. Though do keep in mind for you nerds, the movie has more vengeance than a Superman spin-off series.

Trivia

Main bad boy J.D. is a direct reference to famous Catcher in the Rye author J.D. Salinger and iconic bad boy, James Dean

A character tricks another character into killing someone by saying that the gun shoots special non-piercing bullets called iche luges.” Iche luge is German for I’m lying

The film was considered as putting Christian Slater on the map as an actor. The film barely grossed a million and failed to make its budget

Educational Content

• Many parallels to Columbine can be found in this film. Not a comedic point, but a frightening one
• Much of this film is based on real events in Ohio circa the mid 80’s. Be glad you didn’t grow up there

Justification for Rating

The movie holds up well, but is perhaps too bizarre for its own good. For every attractive high School girl, there is a lame bad boy who hogs screen time.

Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEeQpejFbYA

Rating:

Review

The movie starts off with this old man in a castle. He was a lonely old man who wanted somebody to use as his sex slave so he created a son. Now, not only did the thought of incest turn him on, but this old man was a real S & M fan as well. He made the sons hands from blades, hoping to finally reach the ultimate orgasm. In the excitement of seeing his creation coming to life, the old man croaked. Now, down in the valley was a goody goody Mrs. Cleaver type woman who found Edward Scissorhands and decided she needed to fill the empty void in her life so she took him home. Edward falls in love with her daughter, which was doomed from the start. All the neighbors must have been sadist as well, because they just can’t wait for him to put his blades all over them. He ends up killing the daughters boyfriend and gets sent back to the castle where he learns fairly quickly that masturbation really isn’t an option.

Reason to Watch

You want to punish your son and show him what you can do to his hands if he keeps jizzin’ all over your sheets.

Context

Pretty sure Michael Jackson was the fashion and beauty director on set.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• Edward: “I’m not finished”
• “We are looking for the man with the hands”

Trivia

• Johnny Depp only says 169 words the entire movie
• Tom Cruise, Jim Carrey and Robert Downey Jr were considered for the roll
• Vincent Price died after appearing in this movie, making his last appearance on screen a death scene

Educational Content

Stay out of castles, never trust a man who has blades for hands with your daughter, and there are much better ways for sadist to satisfy themselves than  building a boy toy.

Justification for Rating

There is no justification for this movie, I gave it a 3 because I liked the ice sculptures.

Clip