Coming in at number seven is the seventeenth Bond film, Goldeneye. The reason it makes the list is simple: the end of the short-lived Timothy Dalton era and the beginning of the modern Bond age. There’s always that suspicion between Bond films of the new guy, and Pierce Brosnan could have been a lot worse. He brought back the playfulness that had been missing with ol’ Tim. Dalton played Bond pretty dark, and the freshness of the ass-patting and silly gadgetry allowed the welcome reminiscing of the Roger Moore days. The plot wasn’t bad, the girls were hot, and the explosions had that big-budget feel. Read the rest of this entry »
One of the greatest bad movies of bad movies, the cult film of cult films, Rocky has lived on in the hearts and minds of the alienated, marginalized, and gay youth of each generation since its 1975 debut. The Picture Show has become a right of passage for those who will one day become fans of the cult movie, the bizarre musical, and eventually, possibly, even sex. Of all cult movies, no other has a following quite like the sexually confused, camp-horror followers of the late night, double feature picture show. There is nothing quite like seeing a 200-lb Janet, complete with white underwear, dancing and singing in front of two-hundred overly-Zima’d virgins – if you have never been to a modern screening of Rocky, go. Go now. Take a camera – and a change of underwear – it will be the scariest Halloween experience you’ve ever had. Read the rest of this entry »
Yeah, I know. It’s Jane Fonda. Jane Fonda’s Workout Jane Fonda. But in 1968, Jane Fonda was Barbarella, and Barbarella was hot, traipsing about in her skin-tight swimsuit costumes all about outer space. Grrr!
If I told you that a movie had blood, guts, gore, and a Playboy model, you would probably be pretty excited, right? Don’t pull your pants down just yet: Blood Feast is an abomination of all that is horrific.
Fuad Ramses is the proprietor of an Egyptian catering business when said Playmate’s mom rings up and asks him to prepare something… different. Ramses, of course, suggests something… Egyptian: an Egyptian Feast! Little does any know (although they should, given that they explain to everyone at every chance possible exactly what an Egyptian Feast consists of), all of the murders that have been happening lately are just Ramses collecting the ingredients for said feast. Good thing your typical Keystone Cops are on the case (yeesh!). Read the rest of this entry »
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, while maybe not so awful it would make you want rip out your eyes with wasabi-tipped chopsticks, it is most certainly way overhyped. Even A-list celebrities (Alec Baldwin, Ving Rhames, and Steve Buscemi) and state of the art CGI aren’t enough to make this movie watchable more than once. A bland story line that’s not up to par with any of the games makes me wish that I hadn’t doled out my eight bucks to see this in the theater.