CultFlicks.net

Rating:

Review

Starcrash seems to be something written by an immature Star Wars fanboy with 1,200 bucks and a couple of cameras. It somehow manages to have some measly starpower in a movie that is so wrought with poor special effects, low production values, and a convoluted plot born from the orifices of Alien: Ressurection. Starcrash is a terribly ill-conceived film, so it’s no wonder it has established a steady cult following decades after its release. A group of starfighters are sent out to destroy the evil Count Zarth Arn and stop whatever bullshit he’s up to. They fail miserably, but a survivor manages to meet up with a team of silly rogue-types and they ressurect the mission to take down the Count for good.

The plot is thin as 1% milk, and I can’t even say it has a huge charming appeal. But it is terrible, and for cult film fans, that could be the only requirement. Starcrash is the poor man’s Star Wars, 2 years after Star Wars became a thing. there were many of them around that time, Starcrash is the one most teetering between total hilarity and sheer awfulness.

Reason to Watch

Caroline Munro may not be a household name, but who cares. Her skimpy unproductive space fighting suit the “space-kini” and her overall badassery is enough to watch this thing three times over.

Context

Starcrash is an awful awful movie but it does sort of sum up the entirety of late 70’s action science-fiction flicks without all the overt presumptions following Star Wars.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• Zarth Arn: By sunset I’ll be the new emperor. And I’ll be the master of the whole universe! 
• L: Circuits don’t fail me now! 
• Emperor of the Galaxy: For the space of three minutes, every molecule on this planet will be immobilized. But after the third minute, the green ray loses it’s power. Time will flow once more and everything will explode. 

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

An appreciation for painful ear-splitting dialogue

Trivia

The producers and studio executives told director Luigi Cozzi to make the film as much like Star Wars as physically possible without breaking legalities

There is known stateside DVD release of Starcrash.

Producers were extremely hesitant to show Starcrash to music composer John Barry fearing he will abandon the project

All of Christopher Plummer’s shots for the Emperor were done in a single day

Educational Content

• Robots dissolve as they die
• The original attention for Caroline Munro was to have her in the scantily clad space-kini for the entirety of the film, but producers feared not getting a pass in American markets

Justification for Rating

Sometimes, a beautiful model in space underwear isn’t enough to salvage a terrible movie

Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tESwX3doaI

Rating:

Review

This is one ridiculously bizarre film. Repo Man stars Emilio Estevez is a troubled comically cliche punk rock heathen. Yet, after a series of events, he finds himself driving to drop off something that you wouldn’t believe it if I told you items being carried in his trunk. The film really has two parts. The first is just a charming harmless little comedy flick. the second is a driveling borderline nonsensical series of science-fiction flair. Repo Man is dated and very much focused in its, umm, focus, but it is too over-the-top to pass up.

Reason to Watch

Emilio Estevez of The Breakfast Club fame is slowly turned insane by aliens. Yes, aliens. Sorry for the spoiler, but I couldn’t hold that back.

Context

Repo Man doesn’t have much to say about life, reality, what have you, but it is just too ludicrous to not be watched at least once in passing. the dialogue is almost self-parody of the era, and if the trailer didn’t clarify anything for you, the film sure as hell won’t.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• Debbi: Duke, let’s go do some crimes.
  Duke: Yeah. Let’s go get sushi and not pay.
• Duke: You say our names, we’re going to have to kill all these people, Archie.
• Bud: Look at those assholes, ordinary fucking people. I hate ’em.

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

A Netflix account, because you ain’t going to find this bitch any other way.

Trivia

You can see graffiti for the punk band The Circle Jerks, the same band that plays later in the film

The photo of aliens depicted in the film is actually condoms filled with water

Educational Content

• Repo men have it hard and obtain greater success in proportion to the economy’s failure
• If you own an air freshener business, endorse a movie about cars
• Aliens are wimps if you own a car or have even a few collective brain cells

Justification for Rating

For all the oddities and bizarre encounters and stupidly funny acting by Emilio Estevez and some other one shot characters, Repo Man is a terrible average movie.

Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLGrXGEMOSo