Review of Piranha (1978)

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Piranha DVD Cover




Rating: ★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Reason to Watch

Piranha are in the water. People shouldn’t go into the water, but they do. Other people know the piranha are there and shouldn’t go in the water to check it out, but they do. Piranha should differentiate between victims and People Who Are Just Evaluating The Situation, but they don’t.

This 1978 film is one of the cheap, scary-but-not-horror movies that were so prevalent then. Most of them were really bad and this one lives up to the standard. The acting is bad, the dialogue is worse and if anything in the plot surprises you, you’re too young to watch this movie. Go back to bed and don’t forget your teddy.


Somebody wanted to make a movie about a killer animal, but all the sexy ones were taken. So were all of the good actors.

Most Memorable Quote(s)
  • Dumont: People eat fish, Grogan. Fish don’t eat people.
  • Piranhas: Skree, skree, skree
What You Need to Get Through This Movie

A sense of humor or a really slow night on Netflix. But making up dialogue for the piranhas can be fun.


In 2010, someone thought it would be a good idea to do a remake in 3-D. Hopefully, the actors had better clothes.

Educational Content
  • Piranha make funny shrieking noises when they attack. Kind of like some people do at a Chinese buffet.
  • If you wear corduroys pulled up to your armpits with a nice wide belt, you’re more likely to get eaten by piranhas.
Justification for Rating

It sucks like a Dyson.



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