Thriller

Review of A Clockwork Orange

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A Clockwork OrangeRating: ★★★★★★★★★☆

Review

Having been banned in countless countries, including rape scenes and controversy, and the utter hatred of the author who created the original story, the film version of A Clockwork Orange is polarizing and simply awesome. Stanley Kubrick is a tue visionary of the film medium, and by making a film so outwardly bizarre and controversial, it has essentially confirmed the film the status of “cult.” Yet despite the status, the film manages to say something about society, commercialism, greed, and corruption in a way that is so fresh and inventive it still stands the test of time as a primeir film of the horror divine. Kubrick is a cult mastermind, and A Clockwork Ornage arguably stands as his greatest creation in film-making.

Reason to Watch

Without getting into too great of detail, two scenes in particualr are enough to watch this film. it is also culturally historic. if you haven’t seen the move, i’m sure you’ve missed a few references to it in other areas. The cinematography is exquisite and astonishing effective in setting the mood. For you move newbies and dingdongs, that basically means it’s really cool to look at. On a final note, if you have no knowledge of Stanley Kubrick (or awesomeness) there’s no better place to start.

Context

The movie is not without its detractors. its controversy and message still holds up over time, and if you want to hear what all the fuss is about, might as well dive into the film right. it may offend you, even for its time, and it may keep you reeling from thoughts such as “how did they get away with that?” and “I want to learn cool dance moves and rape things.”

Most Memorable Quote(s)
  • Alex: Welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, well. To what do I owe the extreme pleasure of this surprising visit? 
  • P.R. Deltoid: I’ve just come from the hospital; your victim has died. 
    Alex: You try to frighten me. Admit so, sir. This is some new form of torture. Say it, Brother Sir. 
    P.R. Deltoid: It’ll be your own torture. I hope to God it’ll torture you to madness. 
  • Chief Guard Barnes: Are you now, or have you ever been a homosexual? 
What You Need to Get Through This Movie

Hallucinogenic drugs wouldn’t hurt, though we would never condone behavior such as that. A bottle of Nightquil will do. Ok, maybe just a backscratcher. Do not watch with a new date!

Trivia

One of only two films to ever be nominated for an Academy Award to debut with an X rating.

The film’s first cut was just over 4 hours, a notorious typical action for Kubrick

Director Stanley Kubrick handled a large portion of the marketing for the film, a rarity, especially in the early 70’s.

The film largely uses a made up language, a mix of Russian, English, and slang words of both. It was an original invention of original author Anthony Burgess, which you would think makes the book unreadable but contrarily makes it amazing.

Educational Content
  • Sex isn’t always fun or awesome
  • The message: over saturation of media is bad, in case you haven’t heard that before
  • You can change a person from bad to good if you force their eyeballs open and have them watch depictions of cute puppies cuddling
Justification for Rating

After it’s all said and done, A Clockwork Orange says more than most films ever could and does it more splendidly and with greater enthusiasm than most films could ever achieve- all capped with an unrivaled eye for perfection from director Stanley Kubrick.

Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9C-20JyOgMY

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Fantasy

Review of Little Otik

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Little OtikRating: ★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆

Review

Little Otik is not your traditional fantasy film. From Czech (and if you’re already wondering what and where that is you’re missing the point) Little Otik is about a middle-aged couple with no children. When husband Karel Horák finds a tree stump that looks slightly like a child he brings it home. The couple begin shaping the stump into a child and treat it as such, and then…things happen. The film isn’t for everyone, and based on that synopsis you may discredit it at something wacky from the Czech, “Oh those silly natives!” Not only is that weird and potentially racist, it’s also unfair. Little Otik is a bizarre film, but one that is oddly heartwarming. So if you have a conscious, or a heart that isn’t melted with cold black stiffness, Little Otik may be quite the viewing experience.

Reason to Watch

If I can think of one singular reason to watch it, it’s because it’s from Czech and you owe it to yourself to watch at least ONE film from the country.

Context

The Czech isn’t known for their mainstream appeal, yet Little Otik’s cult following is justified, for it’s bizarre oddities isn’t for the sake of being weird “to be weird” but actually helps craft a touching fairy tale for those who can suspend their belief and entering a fantasy world without expecting Tom Cruise trolls, or unicorns.

Most Memorable Quote(s)
  • He wanted to touch me again.
  • If it’s going to be chocolate, it’s got to be Charon!
What You Need to Get Through This Movie

Your full attention baby, cause this one has got…subtitles!

Educational Content
  • If you can’t make a baby the traditional way, make one with a machete and some crafting tools. These types pee less, whine less, and never steal your wallet or stick their fingers in electrical outlets
Justification for Rating

Little Otik is simply too much for many film fans to handle. it’s almost entirely unrelatable, and is based on an obscure fairy tale. Yet, if you find peculiar films enticing, Little Otik is a foreign gem not worth missing.

Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oT45Gmv1Pv4

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Action

Review of Fight Club

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Fight Club Movie PosterRating: ★★★★★★★★★☆
Review

In this extremely dark and violent comic drama, the “Narrator” a depressed, angst ridden young man is dissatisfied with the world around him. He hates his work and has attempted to mask his emptiness by assembling his “perfect” apartment. In order to relieve his insomnia he’s taken to visiting support groups for patients with terminal diseases. His path changes radically when, on a business flight, he meets Tyler Durden, a charming soap salesman. Tyler doesn’t value a world driven by consumerism and he believes that men can learn through pain, misfortune and chaos. Tyler cheerfully challenges his new friend to a fight. The Narrator finds that bare-knuckle fighting makes him feel alive and soon the two become friends and roommates, meeting to fight once a week. As more men join in, the “fight club” becomes a sinister underground movement that spreads across the country, even though it’s meant to be a closely guarded secret among the participants. As the Narrator and Tyler continue to bond, a strange situation becomes further complicated when Tyler becomes involved with Marla, whom the Narrator became infatuated with when they were both gate-crashing the support-group circuit. As the “fight club” movement progressively darkens where will it all end?

Lots of violence, plenty of shocks, plot twists and a great ending what more could you want?

Reason to Watch

Any film that has a leading British film critic describing it as “an inadmissible assault on personal decency” has got to go straight onto the “must watch” list I reckon. Oh and Brad Pitt with his shirt off, if thats the sort of thing that floats your boat.

Context

Some people apparently saw the film as dangerous and a promotion Nazism, which seems rather overly-dramatic and suggests that these people need to get out more.

Most Memorable Quotes

“The things you own end up owning you.”

“The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club….”

“With a long enough timeline, the probability of survival is zero.”

What You Need To Get Through This Movie

Just in case the urge to re-enact fight scenes takes hold ensure that you only invite round your weediest and most feeble of friends. Smelling salts, first aid kit and route to nearest Emergency Room should all be kept close at hand. Plenty of booze should be made available for Dutch courage before and to mask the pain after the fighting.

Trivia

The home-made recipe for Napalm provided by Tyler was incorrect, for obvious safety reasons. Some sources state that the recipe was accurate in the book upon which the film was based but, in fact, that too was false (at the insistence of the books publishers). If I had known this sooner I would not have wasted a great deal of tasty orange juice in attempting a reenactment of scenes from Apocalypse Now last summer.

Educational Content
  1. You can make soap from the fat of humans.
  2. Misuse of steroids can land you with a nasty pair of breasts.
  3. Messing around with lye is a bad idea, that shit burns!
  4. Exercise helps you get healthy, natural sleep.
  5. Ikea do some nice furniture.
Justification for Rating

The film is challenging and controversial but is hugely watchable, quotable and enjoyable.

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Action

Review of Death Race 2000

Action Comments Off on Review of Death Race 2000

Death Race 2000 ReviewRating: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆

Review

Do you like video games? Do you like murdering people? Do you think playing video games that murder people is not only awesome, but morally awesome? Death Race 2000 pits you as a viewer, in a game where individuals who are usually burly, unnecessarily aggressive, and drowning in their own testosterone against others where they race, main, and kill each other- to death. the better the kill, the more points. The film, at only 80 minutes, barely gives us any characterization, but not that we expected any from something called Death Race 2000. The film is stupid- extremely almost godly stupid, but unlike many films that are stupid and just not worth watching, Death Race 2000 is more entertaining than any Transformers move of the last decade.

Reason to Watch

Sylvester Stallone plays someone awesome who isn’t Rambo, a career 180.

Context

It is the dystopian future of the year 2000 where people battled for their lives in massive car arenas. In the REAL year 2000, city kids played Nintendo 64 on their 420 resolution tv’s and downloaded songs from Napster at the quick immediate pace of 10 kb a second through their dial-up connection.

Most Memorable Quote(s)
  • Matilda the Hun: Whoever named your car the Bull… was only half right! 
  • Junior: Here he comes: Machine Gun Joe! Loved by thousands, hated by millions! 
  • Frankenstein: You want to make love to me because I drive the Monster and wear this costume. 
What You Need to Get Through This Movie

A Sylvester Stallone plush Rambo doll

Trivia

Producer Roger Corman did many of the driving himself because the stuntmen were nervous they would get nabbed by cops or driving cars that were not street legal

The original role of Frankenstein was offered to Jane Fonda who found the film too ridiculous to humor with words

Educational Content
  • You can transform a terribly beat-up Vokswagan into a badass killing machine with Roger Corman on your side
  • Nothing is street legal, really
Justification for Rating

It is hard to rate Death Race 2000 because you know if you will like it or not far before you even watch a minute. a 6 sounds reasonable for a movie that should be awful

Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Of1UF-qVc18

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Documentary

A Review of Hated: GG Allin and the Murder Junkies

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Rating: ★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Review

Documentaries can be boring. I mean let’s be honest. if you managed to stay awake during the entirety of Al Gore’s Inconvenient Truth you have a sleeping disorder. The environment is just brutally boring. But not all documentaries fall into the trap of too much info, not enough explosions. Hated  is primarily about GG Allin and his group, The Murder Junkies. The documentary chronicles GG through his punk rock days where he defecated on stage, bashed his head against walls, and did drugs almost to the point of self-satire. The film is also entirely engrossing through every moment, and the cult status of the group, as well as the film, is sustained splendidly.

Reason to Watch

Lots of male genitalia is probably NOT a reason to watch, but the unrestrained insanity of the group is enthralling. It’s also worth watching for a glimpse into the ideologies of punk rock through the lens of a man who is absolutely out of his bloody mind.

Context

The Murder Junkies made terrible music, and their fans were probably all retarded (no offense, it is what it is). But Hated really does chronicle something special. A small relatively known insane man can, with enough craziness, ascend his own meaning. We’re not quite sure what amount of GG Allin was show and what was literal belief, but the event is so encapsulating it’s worth viewing for that view into something so bizarre and foreign.

Most Memorable Quote(s)
  • Allin: I’ve had women who move to the towns I’m living in, just pack up and move there, never even met ’em before, ’cause they heard I lived there.
  • Allin: Rock’n’roll has to be destroyed and rebuilt in my name if it’s ever gonna accomplish anything
What You Need to Get Through This Movie

A case of beer. Two cases. a high tolerance of chubby man penis and feces. A love of punk rock doesn’t hurt, or at least a love for watching crazy people get crazier.

Trivia
  • GG Allin showed up at the initial screening of the film, but threw a bottle and was kicked out
  • The film contains a quick shot of his corpse, and filming was done at his funeral, included in the final picture
Educational Content

If the Sex Pistols didn’t teach you that you can fail miserably in music and succeed in some fashion, GG Allin won’t either. If you are going to kill yourself, and you tell everyone you are, and you don’t, you will come across as a pansy regardless even though the idea is stupid.

Also, drugs are bad, mmkay, but South Park should have already taught you that.

Justification for Rating

Hated may be interesting and intriguing, but it really doesn’t have any substance. It’s like the documentary/punk rock version of a summer blockbuster- there are lots of things are happening and being said, but it’s still inherently dumb and always will be.

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