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Rating:

Review

Once you get past the poor title and the fact the movie is black and white it can be an half decent movie. The plot is about an ex-army major who seems to be a bit mental with deluded plans on conquering the world with some ‘transparent’ super soldiers. With the unwilling help of Dr. Ulof an invisibilty machine is created. Before all this a safe cracker is broken out of prison by an attractive blonde. They drive past a policeman who didnt have the common sense to ask to see the mysterious man in the passenger seat even though he had a hat on his face.

The film starts to get more scifi with Dr. Ulof chatting about using some dangerous reactive material and then blasts the safe cracker with the ‘Transparency Ray’. He then heads off to steal some atomic, nuclear things from a heavily gaurded safe but then turns against the ex-major and by the end of the film everyones double-crossed each other which left me a bit dumfounded.

Reason to Watch

Theres some comical fights with guards and baddies alike fighting thin air and alot of the acting is either overdone or the opposite with some actors left expressionless. Also some good camera work as the invisible guy fades in and out which i suppose was hi-tech for the 1960s.

Context

The 1960s/70s was the golden era for american B-movies however most of these went down the route of exploitation – and so the films were nick named ‘nudies’. Edgar G. Ulmer had plenty of chances to make some big budget A – movies but instead went with the cheap, wacky stuff.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

I did not agree to kill a man by deliberate radiation poisoning.

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

The only way to see past the poor acting skills of Douglas Kennedy and the budget of $100 is with a few litres of sangria and some good friends to distract from the TV.

Trivia

Edgar G. Ulmer filmed this and ‘Beyond the Time Barrier’ back to back in just two weeks.
The film was later featured in an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K) an american cult comedy series about a man who is forced to watch terrible american B-movies – no joke, but in the end this show won a few awards and has quite a few followers.

Educational Content

X-rays can make you invisible – just remember that next time you break a bone, you might end up with no arm.

Justification for Rating

This movie definitely fits under the heading of, ‘so bad it ends up good’.

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Rating:

Review

This is one of those movies that is so bad that you HAVE to see it. Seriously, there is a reason that Manos: Hands of Fate has been named as the worst movie of all time. Bad music, bad acting, bad camera work, terribly boring driving sequences – Manos has it all!
The premise of the movie is a small family (husband, wife, and daughter) are on a roadtrip vacation. However, everything goes awry when they stop at a small inn to ask for directions. They meet Torgo, the goatman-esque secretary, and end up having to stay the night. NO MORE FUN VACATION! “The Master” shows up, who looks like Frank Zappa and wears a ridiculous robe, and torments the family like crazy.

Reason to Watch

If you sit through Manos: Hands of Fate, you will be a B-Movie master. It is infamously bad! However, the character of Torgo provides wonderful comedic relief. Whenever he enters the screen, his theme song is played. Plus he is delightful with his humongous fake knees and wobbly voice.

Context

Manos was filmed in the sixties, a time when many low quality horror films were being churned out. However, Manos takes the crown as being perhaps the worst movie OF ALL TIME.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

“The M-M-M-Master would not approve.”

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

To get through this movie you will need vodka strained seven times through a Brita filter for maximum potency. You will also need four shots of espresso. Drink the vodka until the movie makes sense, and take an espresso shot every time a long driving sequence is initiated so you don’t bore yourself to sleep.

Trivia

Torgo’s theme song was inspired by the life and times of Harriet S. Tubman.

Educational Content

Manos teaches us that getting your hand burned will kill you.

Justification for Rating

Manos gets just half of a point for being a pure pile of poop, but also one bonus point for Torgo, his theme song, and The Master’s wild robes. Hence, two points.

September 11th, 2010 at the Tampa Pitcher Show Cult Flicks Latest Movie Troll 2 “Best Worst Movie”

Rating:

Review

Believe it or not kids, there was once a day when porn was not a mouse click away. Back in those days, we had to find other ways to see boobs, and horror films provided that opportunity. I remember the joys seeing “The Hunger” for the first time, that sexy section of video took some wear and tear I can tell you. So why this relevant? “Werewolf Woman” is basically a softcore porn film masquerading as a horror. The film starts off with a naked woman dancing around a fire before she turns into a werewolf and kills some people.

Flash forward to the “modern” day where distant relative Daniella Neseri (Annik Borel), having been recently raped, now makes an emotional connection to her family’s past before going on a killing spree which includes a lot of the biting out of men’s’ throats. She does not actually turn into a were-wolf; she just acts like one. She is, however, cured when she falls in love with a stuntman. They run along sandy beaches and they laugh and blah blah blah as he jumps through windows and crashes burning motorcycles. Fortunately, before it turns into the prequel to The Notebook, she is raped by three men and her boyfriend is killed. This sets her off again and she ends up in an asylum – typical. This is campy 70’s horror with bright red blood and loads of pointless nudity. Best of all, it’s based on a true story, but any similarities between anyone living or dead is apparently purely coincidental.

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Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within

Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, while maybe not so awful it would make you want rip out your eyes with wasabi-tipped chopsticks, it is most certainly way overhyped. Even A-list celebrities (Alec Baldwin, Ving Rhames, and Steve Buscemi) and state of the art CGI aren’t enough to make this movie watchable more than once. A bland story line that’s not up to par with any of the games makes me wish that I hadn’t doled out my eight bucks to see this in the theater.

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