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Rating:

Review

They Live is a seriously stupid movie, yet interestingly, that sort of reflects the culture of the times and the themes of the film. They Live has aliens ruling the world through television (media) turning all the people into slaves of the aliens (media). The people consume and consume to fuel the aliens strive for dominance, and the people are powerless to stop them. It seems like a terrible C-grade alien flick, and it most certainly is. But it also speaks on the culture of the era in a weird way. After John Carpenter took a break from milking the tit of the Halloween franchise, he encapsulated an overall thought process with intrigue and suspense, encased in a shell of a stupid movie.

Reason to Watch

They Live doesn’t pander to you as much as you deserve it to, and for that, it is worth your time.

Context

It’s a throwback to 50’s alien-grade visuals, and it has underlining messages of mass-consumerism and greed helmed by John Carpenter. Not bad for a one trick pony.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• Nada: I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass… and I’m all out of bubblegum. 
• Nada: Wooo. It’s like a drug. Wearing these glasses gets you high, but you come down hard. 
• Bearded Man: We could be pets, we could be food, but all we really are is livestock. 

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

All your receipts of the all the shit you bought in the last year, to make yourself feel bad and bring yourself into the movie with greater aplomb

Trivia

• The line “I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass, and I’m all out of bubble gum” was ad-libbed by Roddy Piper. According to director John Carpenter, Piper had taken the line from a list of ideas he had for his pro wrestling interviews. 
• Roddy Piper, being a married man at the time of filming, refused to take his wedding band off. That’s why in several scenes you can see a wedding ring on. 

Educational Content

If aliens were to invade, the first place they would go is to the televison stations

Mullets- still not retro

You may be married to, sleeping with, or sitting next to an alien. Men in Black taught you this one as well

Justification for Rating

Well, it’s a movie.

Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inZUDMGJsKo

Rating:

Review

Night of the Living Dead originated the zombie craze, and George Romero is more than responsible. It’s not cheery, it’s not happy, and the ending is painfully immediate. Though there were attempts to remake and re colorize and revisit this film over the ages (basically they molested it), the original disturbing charm of the original is where it is at. The film follows a closely-knit small group of stragglers who fight amongst themselves in a zombie apocalypse. They are isolated, alone, and still manage to bicker about nonsense. As you can see, the film created zombie staples that remain to this day.

Reason to Watch

Well, this first zombie film in the …Of the Dead has dated the absolute worst of them all, so for that, it’s required viewing.

Context

For it’s time, the film was intensely horrifying. Even a few murders scenes were still quite shocking for modern viewing, especially putting it in the context of the era. But really, it’s a black and white horror/zombie flick from George Romero, and the pure insanity and low-budgetry of it is impressive. It holds up terribly over time, but that’s key to a great cult film.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• Tom: Well… the television said that’s the right thing to do. 
• Sheriff McClelland: Good shot! OK, he’s dead; let’s go get ‘im. That’s another one for the fire. 
• Field Reporter: Are they slow-moving, chief? 
  Sheriff McClelland: Yeah, they’re dead. They’re all messed up. 

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

Your very own zombie coloring book, so you can try to add some color to this lifeless movie.

Trivia

• Night of the Living Dead is free domain, meaning it is essentially for public use. The original studio neglected to place a copyright, apparently thinking it wasn’t worth the $15
• the film is available free for viewing just about everywhere
• The majority of the film was just sort of improvised, coming up with genius lines like “There is no Sunday school picnic!”

Educational Content

You thought zombies were slow? There even slower. Wait. Slloooower. Their basically crawling, their babies. Never go to the cellar in a zombie apocalypse, and killing children is okay if they are out to eat your limbs.

Justification for Rating

The film deserves to stand right in the middle, as it is iconic in creating many zombie film staples, but it has also aged teribly. Though some people like that style, and that is okay to. basically, Night of the Living Dead was supposed to be serious and anything but satire, and the effects and film making made it just the opposite. And now over 40 years later, it’s got this weird mix of serious/stupid, and we still don’t really know what it’s supposed to be.

Clip

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gUKvmOEGCU

Rating:

Review

Once you get past the poor title and the fact the movie is black and white it can be an half decent movie. The plot is about an ex-army major who seems to be a bit mental with deluded plans on conquering the world with some ‘transparent’ super soldiers. With the unwilling help of Dr. Ulof an invisibilty machine is created. Before all this a safe cracker is broken out of prison by an attractive blonde. They drive past a policeman who didnt have the common sense to ask to see the mysterious man in the passenger seat even though he had a hat on his face.

The film starts to get more scifi with Dr. Ulof chatting about using some dangerous reactive material and then blasts the safe cracker with the ‘Transparency Ray’. He then heads off to steal some atomic, nuclear things from a heavily gaurded safe but then turns against the ex-major and by the end of the film everyones double-crossed each other which left me a bit dumfounded.

Reason to Watch

Theres some comical fights with guards and baddies alike fighting thin air and alot of the acting is either overdone or the opposite with some actors left expressionless. Also some good camera work as the invisible guy fades in and out which i suppose was hi-tech for the 1960s.

Context

The 1960s/70s was the golden era for american B-movies however most of these went down the route of exploitation – and so the films were nick named ‘nudies’. Edgar G. Ulmer had plenty of chances to make some big budget A – movies but instead went with the cheap, wacky stuff.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

I did not agree to kill a man by deliberate radiation poisoning.

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

The only way to see past the poor acting skills of Douglas Kennedy and the budget of $100 is with a few litres of sangria and some good friends to distract from the TV.

Trivia

Edgar G. Ulmer filmed this and ‘Beyond the Time Barrier’ back to back in just two weeks.
The film was later featured in an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K) an american cult comedy series about a man who is forced to watch terrible american B-movies – no joke, but in the end this show won a few awards and has quite a few followers.

Educational Content

X-rays can make you invisible – just remember that next time you break a bone, you might end up with no arm.

Justification for Rating

This movie definitely fits under the heading of, ‘so bad it ends up good’.

Clip

Rating:

Review

This is one of those movies that is so bad that you HAVE to see it. Seriously, there is a reason that Manos: Hands of Fate has been named as the worst movie of all time. Bad music, bad acting, bad camera work, terribly boring driving sequences – Manos has it all!
The premise of the movie is a small family (husband, wife, and daughter) are on a roadtrip vacation. However, everything goes awry when they stop at a small inn to ask for directions. They meet Torgo, the goatman-esque secretary, and end up having to stay the night. NO MORE FUN VACATION! “The Master” shows up, who looks like Frank Zappa and wears a ridiculous robe, and torments the family like crazy.

Reason to Watch

If you sit through Manos: Hands of Fate, you will be a B-Movie master. It is infamously bad! However, the character of Torgo provides wonderful comedic relief. Whenever he enters the screen, his theme song is played. Plus he is delightful with his humongous fake knees and wobbly voice.

Context

Manos was filmed in the sixties, a time when many low quality horror films were being churned out. However, Manos takes the crown as being perhaps the worst movie OF ALL TIME.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

“The M-M-M-Master would not approve.”

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

To get through this movie you will need vodka strained seven times through a Brita filter for maximum potency. You will also need four shots of espresso. Drink the vodka until the movie makes sense, and take an espresso shot every time a long driving sequence is initiated so you don’t bore yourself to sleep.

Trivia

Torgo’s theme song was inspired by the life and times of Harriet S. Tubman.

Educational Content

Manos teaches us that getting your hand burned will kill you.

Justification for Rating

Manos gets just half of a point for being a pure pile of poop, but also one bonus point for Torgo, his theme song, and The Master’s wild robes. Hence, two points.

September 11th, 2010 at the Tampa Pitcher Show Cult Flicks Latest Movie Troll 2 “Best Worst Movie”