Horror

Review of 100 Tears

Horror 9 Comments »

Rating: ★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆

Review

Ah, clowns. For all of the joy and laughter they attempt to bring to children and adults alike, one just cannot help but be creeped out by them. Perhaps it’s the incessant, unwavering smile; it makes it impossible to gauge their emotions, so we see them as sociopathic machines. Maybe it’s the ingrained fear that they are all John Wayne Gacy under the white face and red nose. Regardless of the reason, clowns are fucking scary, and Director Marcus Koch takes advantage of this fact in his 2007 film, 100 Tears.
Gurdy is the king badass of your killer clown genre. Using a cartoon-sized meat cleaver, he out-butchers Pennywise, the Killer Klowns from Outer Space, and Pogo the Clown combined, and within the first quarter of the movie. Killing with indifference, Gurdy mercilessly disembowels girls, slaughters invalids, and tortures teens for the length of the movie. And it never gets old.
Sure, there’s more story to the story (something about tabloid reporters and midgets), but 100 Tears’ true brilliance shines through in the relentless blood-letting and the quite believable and disgusting special effects and makeup. No CGI here, kids; this movie is filled with good, old-fashioned latex-head decapitations and fake-blood bonanzas.

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Fan Reviews

Fan Review of The Child Molester (Part 1)

Fan Reviews Comments Off on Fan Review of The Child Molester (Part 1)


Rating: ★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆

Review

It seems that times have not changed since the 1960s, we still warn our kids about stranger danger, when we should really be looking out for Uncle Touchy Feely. Anyway this is a disturbing little film directed at parents telling them to tell their children to stay away from strangers lest they be raped and killed. Shocking? Yes. And you haven’t even seen the real crime photos yet. Although the film is firm on telling parents that they are the ones who should warn their children many kids were subjected to this film at school leaving mental scares and nightmares that would last rest of their life. Kind of ironic, damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. Read the rest of this entry »

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Lists

The Definitive Top Ten Halloween Movies

Lists 20 Comments »
Rocky Horror Picture Show

One of the greatest bad movies of bad movies, the cult film of cult films, Rocky has lived on in the hearts and minds of the alienated, marginalized, and gay youth of each generation since its 1975 debut. The Picture Show has become a right of passage for those who will one day become fans of the cult movie, the bizarre musical, and eventually, possibly, even sex. Of all cult movies, no other has a following quite like the sexually confused, camp-horror followers of the late night, double feature picture show. There is nothing quite like seeing a 200-lb Janet, complete with white underwear, dancing and singing in front of two-hundred overly-Zima’d virgins – if you have never been to a modern screening of Rocky, go. Go now. Take a camera – and a change of underwear – it will be the scariest Halloween experience you’ve ever had. Read the rest of this entry »

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Lists

Top 5 Best and Worst Kevin Smith Moments

Lists 14 Comments »

kevin smith

Review

With the latest movie from Kevin Smith, “Zack and Miri Make a Porno” coming out soon, I thought this would be a good time to take a look at some of the moments from the career of everybody’s favorite pot-smoking, comic book-reading, Star Wars-obsessing director, Kevin Smith.

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Thriller

Review of Dementia 13

Thriller 5 Comments »

Rating: ★★½☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Review

If you’ve ever wondered, “I wonder what  Francis Ford Coppola was doing before The Godfather, one of the greatest films in history of people making films ever?”, then look no further than Dementia 13. Yes, folks, from low budget b-film to “Greatest Filmmaker Ever” in under a decade. You, too, can start out making “Adult Features”, work your way into “Cult Horror”, and then go on to define a genre. But most likely not. D-13 is not a terrible movie; it’s got that “a director was here” feel to it, with some nifty camera angles and a couple of cool shots, but for every glimpse of a promising director, you have two moments of a drunken screenwriter. I was either too intoxicated or not intoxicated enough to understand what was going on. Read the rest of this entry »

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