CultFlicks.net

Rating:

Review

For one reason or another, Australia does “the musical” well. They rarely take it too serious, and they always add some innovative and relatively interesting flair to the experience to make it stick out among the wide breadth of musical films (Wait…there are a lot of them?). Regardless, Starstruck is stupid as it is awesome, like watching a homoerotic adventure of two racist hillbilies, Starstruck is a train wreck of a film begging to be challenged. Starstruck fails to challenge you mentally, but it does challenger your ears with a whole slew of awful songs playing on cliches of the theater world. if you thought Glee was bad, watch Starstruck tackle Hollywood fame and musical elitism, through the eyes of a typical Australian pop star. Don’t kill yourself yet, you haven’t even seen it!

Reason to Watch

It’s like a lamer more idiotic Hairspray, if Hairspray was lame or dumb. that makes sense, right?

Context

Even though many people just want to sort of forget that Australia, like, exists and stuff, we can at least be confident that they can manage some rather interesting little musicals. Though they aren’t really worth watching, their still proof that everyone in that country has no concerns whatever except “the dance.”

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• Nana: Lay off him, my love. you know he has a plate in his head
• Jackie: guitars are phallic symbols, and guitarists masturbate for a living. So God only knows why you’d need me

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

A gay friend to translate what is happening in “gay talk”

Trivia

• This film was one of three Australian movies made in Australia during 1981-1982 which were musicals. The films include Starstruck, The Pirate Movie and The Return of Captain Invincible. 
• The New Years Eve event scenes were filmed over the course of 3 days

Educational Content

$25,000 will make you rich and change your life forever

Singing is cool, until it gets in the way of “fammilllyyy…”

Justification for Rating

Ok, so it’s a musical and it has themes of family and togetherness and love. It’s still really really dumb

Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nro78Z_kYRY

Rating:

Review

This film should have been amazing, and in some ways, it absolutely is. The plot is inane and the characters beyond idiotic, but the quirkiness is escalated by the sheer absurdity of the events. Chaz, Rex, and Pip LOVE rock and roll. They love rock and roll enough to hold a radio station hostage until their music is played. And chaos ensues. The film’s plot is as flimsy as a combover, but it does introduce us to some almost iconic archetypes. Adam Sandler and Steve Buscemi play wildly retarded (apologies but that’s basically their characters) individuals, and the plot becomes even more outrageous as time goes on. but for music fans, and fans of terribly ill-conceived humour, Airheads might be for you.

Reason to Watch

Grunge rock was once the shit, and this is a nice little reminder of that

Context

Airheads is essentially a less funny more painfully obnoxious version of This is Spinal Tap, and yet, you feel compelled and drawn into its 90’s aesthetics and terrible sweater shirts.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• Chazz: Yvonne, get your shit and go. You’ll be home in time for The Simpsons. 
• Chazz: We got to send one person out. 
  Pip: I’ll go. 
  Rex: One of the hostages, doof. 

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

A suspension of disbelief. These guys someone, in some way, manage to succeed (arguably). Knowing their terribly garage band made it off the ground and your awful post-jam collective failed may infuriate.

Trivia

Lead singer of famed metal band Motorhead, Lemmy, makes an appearance in the film

The character Rex is a representation of Rex Brown from metal band, Pantera

Educational Content

• By being a criminal you can, in fact, get your career known. though dj’s and record label executives have known that for years
• Adam Sandler has been playing the same role long before Little Nicky and The Waterboy

Justification for Rating

Airheads isn’t particularly a BAD film, but it does introduce too many presumptions for the viewer. For a dumb 90’s popcorn film that focuses more on grunge rock and less on quality, like a Soundgarden album or Brendan Fraser’s career, this one is for you.

Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-tj-4M-Jok

Rating:

Review

Starcrash seems to be something written by an immature Star Wars fanboy with 1,200 bucks and a couple of cameras. It somehow manages to have some measly starpower in a movie that is so wrought with poor special effects, low production values, and a convoluted plot born from the orifices of Alien: Ressurection. Starcrash is a terribly ill-conceived film, so it’s no wonder it has established a steady cult following decades after its release. A group of starfighters are sent out to destroy the evil Count Zarth Arn and stop whatever bullshit he’s up to. They fail miserably, but a survivor manages to meet up with a team of silly rogue-types and they ressurect the mission to take down the Count for good.

The plot is thin as 1% milk, and I can’t even say it has a huge charming appeal. But it is terrible, and for cult film fans, that could be the only requirement. Starcrash is the poor man’s Star Wars, 2 years after Star Wars became a thing. there were many of them around that time, Starcrash is the one most teetering between total hilarity and sheer awfulness.

Reason to Watch

Caroline Munro may not be a household name, but who cares. Her skimpy unproductive space fighting suit the “space-kini” and her overall badassery is enough to watch this thing three times over.

Context

Starcrash is an awful awful movie but it does sort of sum up the entirety of late 70’s action science-fiction flicks without all the overt presumptions following Star Wars.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• Zarth Arn: By sunset I’ll be the new emperor. And I’ll be the master of the whole universe! 
• L: Circuits don’t fail me now! 
• Emperor of the Galaxy: For the space of three minutes, every molecule on this planet will be immobilized. But after the third minute, the green ray loses it’s power. Time will flow once more and everything will explode. 

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

An appreciation for painful ear-splitting dialogue

Trivia

The producers and studio executives told director Luigi Cozzi to make the film as much like Star Wars as physically possible without breaking legalities

There is known stateside DVD release of Starcrash.

Producers were extremely hesitant to show Starcrash to music composer John Barry fearing he will abandon the project

All of Christopher Plummer’s shots for the Emperor were done in a single day

Educational Content

• Robots dissolve as they die
• The original attention for Caroline Munro was to have her in the scantily clad space-kini for the entirety of the film, but producers feared not getting a pass in American markets

Justification for Rating

Sometimes, a beautiful model in space underwear isn’t enough to salvage a terrible movie

Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tESwX3doaI

Rating:

Review

There aren’t many things that have involved both Weird Al Yankovic and David Bowie. One known more for his quickly dated parody songs, the other as the experimental pop mastermind, these two men have made a calculated risk with UHF and over 20 years later, I’m still not sure if it did much of anything. UHF has both musicians playing “sort of” archetypes as themselves as George and Bob. George earns, through a series of events, the ability to run a quickly declining television station. he hires his friend Bob to help, and through a host of unrealistic and obnoxiously prototypical characters, we have chaos and “humour.” UHF isn’t all that funny, but it does show you that when a musician acts, it more often than not fails miserably. Sting tried it, Bob Dylan tried it, just doesn’t work unless your black.

Reason to Watch

If you are a fan of Weird Al or David Bowie, you may get a kick out of watching them pretend their not themselves by basically acting how they would act as musicians in the spotlight. Also, the Rambo scene.

Context

UHF is silly and harmless, and instead of hurting the career’s of those involved, it essentially kept everything completely and utterly neutral. Yay for film moving forward.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• George Newman: Lesbian Nazi Hookers Abducted by UFOs and Forced Into Weight Loss Programs… all next week on Town Talk. 
• Stanley Spadowski: I’m thinkin’ of something orange. Something orange. Give up? It’s an orange. 
  Stanley Spadowski: Ok, now I’m thinkin’ of something blue. Something bluuuuuue. 
• Bob: I don’t know about this, George. We don’t know the first thing about what goes on in a television station. 
  George Newman: Don’t worry, Bob. It’s just like working in a fish-market. Except you don’t have to clean and gut fish all day. 

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

You may need Keanu Reeves from Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey to help out. I believe he’s a fan of both Weird Al, David Bowie, and arbitrary stupidity.

Trivia

After extremely positive feedback from test screenings, Orion Pictures concluded that this film was their sure-fire summer blockbuster. Unfortunately, the film was released during the summer of 1989 against huge films like Lethal Weapon 2, Batman and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.  It did turn a minor profit but wasn’t enough to save Orion. Following a string of box-office flops, Orion went bankrupt in the early 1990s.

The first cut of UHF was over 2 and a half hours, and where Weird Al still insists on not releasing the director’s cut, saying there was a reaosn those scenes did not make the film

During film, Weird Al had moles on his face removed. Some scenes they are visible, and others they are not

Educational Content

Even as an actor in a comedy film, Weird Al barely qualifies as funny

Justification for Rating

UHF is reminiscent along the lines of Wayne’s World, but ends up being only partly funny, because the whole time you are never attached to a character or itnerested in the paperthin spinning wheels recycled scenarios plot. Clever ideas tossed and turned around…

Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8n1hKQULa9Y

Rating:

Review

The Rocky Horror Picture Show is infamous for being so overtly stupid yet endearing. Very few films have elegantly balanced the bizarre and stupid with the enthralling nature of great film. So here we have a horror film, but not really. And here we have a musical, though only slightly. The Rocky Horror Picture Show is a comedy driven by dark horror elements and musical odes to weirdness. It is hard to sum up the film (took me an hour to craft that exquisite previous sentence), but if any film needs to be watched to be even slightly understood, it is this one. Expect a little adventure of a recently engaded couple in a mansion surrounded by vampires and transvestites and vampire transvestites. Whoa.

Reason to Watch

I would say there is Susan Sarandon in her prime, but that’s like praising John Goodman’s looks in his prime, or Morgan Freeman  circa The Shawshank Redemption. Just didn’t do it for me. But on a serious note, homoerotic monsters sing acapella, so if that is more your style, you will be right in heaven.

Context

The Rocky Horror Picture Show is equitably the best horror musical ever, and in a time where any vampire in film or television is a huge pussy, it’s shocking to see the transvestite ones the most classic vampire-ish.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• Frank: [singing] I’m just a sweet transvestite, from Transsexual Transylvania. 
• Magenta: I ask for nothing! 
  Frank: And you shall receive it, IN ABUNDANCE! 

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

You will probably need some proper ambiance- fake spiderwebs, a purple vampire cape, hanging skeletons, creepy flickering lights, and a case of Budweiser to make it all work together perfectly.

Trivia

The film runs in two key versions, one for U.S. release and the other U.K. The U.S. version originally omitted the singing part “Super Heroes” because studio executives thought it was too depressing

The movie was banned in South Africa, only after 250,000 viewers already saw it in the region

Director Jim Sharman was originally offered a much larger budget if he hired popular actors at the time, but refused instead taking a smaller budget and using actors from the theater version

Educational Content

• Musical’s aren’t always just stupid, sometimes their stupid and awesome
• Don’t get married and drive off somewhere or else you may end up singing with erotically-infused tenors

Justification for Rating

The film is undoubtedly a little dated, but the charm and appeal of the Rocky Horror Picture Show is well intact. It doesn’t quite fit that ‘so bad it’s good” vibe typical of classic cult films, because the production values and singing is top notch- for better or worse.

Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcmq-8rcEKg