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Debbie Rochon: I think I can answer anything.

Egbert Souse: How did you get started in the film business?

DR: When I was eleven or twelve years old, I was living in Vancouver, Canada, which is north from here… that’s terrible, sorry. I was homeless at the time, and Paramount Pictures was doing this movie called Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains starring Laura Dern, Diane Lane, some of the Sex Pistols and the Clash. This was like 1981. Directed by Lou Adler. So I went in as an extra, and they said are you willing to die your hair like platinum blonde and black on the sides and do like a skunk thing and I said, you know, absolutely. It was $300 cash a week. And I was there for three months and I got started then. I really got the bug then. Read the rest of this entry »

The Giant Gila Monster

What sets this classic 50s Sci-Fi fiasco apart from other giant monster movies is its complete lack of respect for the laws of the giant monster movie. Rule 1: Giant Monsters come from a complete disregard for the laws of nature. This is where the moral of the story comes in – don’t pollute, clone, or mongrelize the races, or a 40-foot tall salamander will eat your family. This rule is broken by simply not explaining where the Gila Monster came from, what it wants, and how to reverse the science that created it. Rule 2: Keep the monster mysterious. Well, the opening scene shows the angry man in the lizard suit, so that’s right out. Rule 3: Get another monster to kill it. Our hero, Chase, kills the monster by driving a 50s hotrod stuffed with nitroglycerin into the beast – of course.

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Rating:

Review

Ah, back in the days when they tried to make porn like real movies… A young girl (Linda Lovelace) isn’t quite getting the satisfaction she thinks she should. So when her friend suggests she goes to the doctor to find out what’s wrong, he makes a startling discovery. Her clitoris is way down in the back of her throat. The doctor (Harry Reems), then teaches her the ancient art of the Deep Throat.

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Rating:

Review

You have to love a film with more titles than substance. Gallery of Horrors aka Dr. Terror’s Gallery of Horrors aka The Blood Suckers aka Alien Massacre aka Return from the Past, or whatever the hell its called, is a compilation of five short stories: “The Witch’s Clock,” “The Spark of Life,” “Monster Raid,” “King Vampire,” and “Count Alucard” – which is credited as “Count Dracula” just to be nice and inconsistent. What makes each of these shorts so unbelievably bad/good is not the comically poor acting, the seemingly endless use of the same ten seconds of stock footage or the clichéd plots, but rather, the “surprise” endings of each sketch. Each short ends with that a “dun dun duh!” kind of style, only lacking in any surprise whatsoever. The “who would have guessed that the guy-dressed-as-a-vampire was a vampire” type of endings will leave you in hysterics. The main issue I had with it is that one title is “Alien Massacre” – and there wasn’t one bloody alien in sight! Read the rest of this entry »