Comedy

Review of Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Comedy Comments Off on Review of Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Monty Python and the Holy GrailRating: ★★★★★★★★★☆

Review

The legend of King Arthur gets the irreverent Python treatment. The film contains a seemingly endless stream of “quote worthy” one-liners, and slapstick set pieces. The Knights of the Round Table go off in search of the Holy Grail and the first port of call is a plague-ridden community, ringing with the cry of “bring out your dead”. Subsequently our brave knights encounter a wedding of convenience which is attacked by Arthur’s men while the groom continually attempts to burst into song. The Knights are nearly thwarted by the dreaded, tree-shaped “Knights Who Say Ni!” and then the feisty Black Knight, who brushes off the loss his arms and legs in combat and threatens to bite off his opponent’s legs. A French military officer taunts them with classics such as “I fart in your general direction”. Rabbits feature heavily, God knows why, ranging from the huge “Trojan” rabbit to the killer bunny that decapitates one of the knights. I really needn’t go on other than to say the film is basically a relentless barrage of the bizarre and has a somewhat surreal ending, but it is a Python movie so nothing should really surprise you.

The story is absurd in the extreme but for Python-lovers it is a work of genius. To others it probably just seems pretty silly.

Reason to Watch

Arthurs fight with the Black Knight alone makes the film worth watching.

Context

Made at a time when the popularity of Monty Python was at a peak on both sides of the Atlantic.

Most Memorable Quotes

“Come back here and I’ll bite your legs off!”

“Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries.”

What You Need To Get Through This Movie

It is essential to ensure that you do NOT watch with either someone who “just doesn’t get it” or, conversely, a “Python bore” who endlessly quotes or analyzes. Both categories will completely ruin your enjoyment of the film so it is best to keep a large blunt object handy to deal with offenders.

Trivia

In the scene where the mob is weighing the ‘witch’ there are two quick shots of the crowd just as she is being put on the scales. In the second of the shots, one of the men is ex-Beatle and co-producer George Harrison.

Educational Content
  1. Do not rely on Monty Python films for your knowledge of history.
  2. English humor can be really weird.
  3. If you really don’t “get it” just pretend you do, believe me it will be better for everyone.
  4. The French and English have never really got on too well.
  5. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second.
  6. You never know when useless facts may come in handy.
Justification for Rating

The high rating is either due to;

Me believing that the film is an English comedic masterpiece

or

I really just don’t get it but don’t want people to think I am a dumbass.

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Action

Review of Fight Club

Action, Comedy, Drama Comments Off on Review of Fight Club
Fight Club Movie PosterRating: ★★★★★★★★★☆
Review

In this extremely dark and violent comic drama, the “Narrator” a depressed, angst ridden young man is dissatisfied with the world around him. He hates his work and has attempted to mask his emptiness by assembling his “perfect” apartment. In order to relieve his insomnia he’s taken to visiting support groups for patients with terminal diseases. His path changes radically when, on a business flight, he meets Tyler Durden, a charming soap salesman. Tyler doesn’t value a world driven by consumerism and he believes that men can learn through pain, misfortune and chaos. Tyler cheerfully challenges his new friend to a fight. The Narrator finds that bare-knuckle fighting makes him feel alive and soon the two become friends and roommates, meeting to fight once a week. As more men join in, the “fight club” becomes a sinister underground movement that spreads across the country, even though it’s meant to be a closely guarded secret among the participants. As the Narrator and Tyler continue to bond, a strange situation becomes further complicated when Tyler becomes involved with Marla, whom the Narrator became infatuated with when they were both gate-crashing the support-group circuit. As the “fight club” movement progressively darkens where will it all end?

Lots of violence, plenty of shocks, plot twists and a great ending what more could you want?

Reason to Watch

Any film that has a leading British film critic describing it as “an inadmissible assault on personal decency” has got to go straight onto the “must watch” list I reckon. Oh and Brad Pitt with his shirt off, if thats the sort of thing that floats your boat.

Context

Some people apparently saw the film as dangerous and a promotion Nazism, which seems rather overly-dramatic and suggests that these people need to get out more.

Most Memorable Quotes

“The things you own end up owning you.”

“The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club….”

“With a long enough timeline, the probability of survival is zero.”

What You Need To Get Through This Movie

Just in case the urge to re-enact fight scenes takes hold ensure that you only invite round your weediest and most feeble of friends. Smelling salts, first aid kit and route to nearest Emergency Room should all be kept close at hand. Plenty of booze should be made available for Dutch courage before and to mask the pain after the fighting.

Trivia

The home-made recipe for Napalm provided by Tyler was incorrect, for obvious safety reasons. Some sources state that the recipe was accurate in the book upon which the film was based but, in fact, that too was false (at the insistence of the books publishers). If I had known this sooner I would not have wasted a great deal of tasty orange juice in attempting a reenactment of scenes from Apocalypse Now last summer.

Educational Content
  1. You can make soap from the fat of humans.
  2. Misuse of steroids can land you with a nasty pair of breasts.
  3. Messing around with lye is a bad idea, that shit burns!
  4. Exercise helps you get healthy, natural sleep.
  5. Ikea do some nice furniture.
Justification for Rating

The film is challenging and controversial but is hugely watchable, quotable and enjoyable.

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Action

Review of Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

Action Comments Off on Review of Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

Faster Pussycat Kill! Kill! posterRating: ★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Review

Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! should have been the perfect movie. It is an exploitation film from the mid-60’s, encircling around three go-go dancers. Their beautiful and charming, and the fact that the go-go dance gives them a weird wholesomeness that is vacant from a stripper, so if you like your girls dancing as opposed to be ing naked, here you go. They hatch a plan to rob a wheel-chair bound man who assists them in temporary living on his farm. Why we would need an elaborate plan to rob a man who can’t walk is never quite explained. Regardless, Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! is violent, dirty, and sexual promiscuous- just about the perfect movie ever. yet it lacks any nudity (there is none) which is a clear violation of standard exploitation flair and makes this film unwatchable for a lack of a payoff.

Reason to Watch

Go-go dancing, violence, and Lori Williams just about sums it up.

Context

Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! does not hold up over time. For a film that was deemed so controversial upon release, it does stand as rather tame. Yet it remains a polarizing film for its plot structure and characters who seem to have a little depth in a genre that usually didn’t do much for their characters other than allow them as vessels for my violence shit to happen to them.

Most Memorable Quote(s)
  • The Old Man: Women! They let ’em vote, smoke and drive – even put ’em in pants! And what happens? A Democrat for president!
  • Tommy: I work on this baby the same way, trying to get maximum performance.
  • Narrator: Ladies and gentlemen – welcome to violence!
What You Need to Get Through This Movie

The knowledge that your girlfriend will never be as cool as Varla.

Trivia

Russ Meyer named the movie like this because he claims that a movie has everything when it contains speed (faster), sex (pussycat) and violence(kill,kill)

Educational Content
  • Killing someone has consequence
  • If your son is mnentally ill, name hill “Vegetable” for consistency’s sake
Justification for Rating

The problem with Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! is not so much that the film is bad, it’s that the ridiculous plot and inane actions of the characters are not offset by seeing the girls naked. Not that a film NEEDS that to be watchable by any means, but a mid 60’s exploitation film titled Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! that is as hackneyed and bizarre as this one DOES.

Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zktang91b4Y

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Action

Review of Death Race 2000

Action Comments Off on Review of Death Race 2000

Death Race 2000 ReviewRating: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆

Review

Do you like video games? Do you like murdering people? Do you think playing video games that murder people is not only awesome, but morally awesome? Death Race 2000 pits you as a viewer, in a game where individuals who are usually burly, unnecessarily aggressive, and drowning in their own testosterone against others where they race, main, and kill each other- to death. the better the kill, the more points. The film, at only 80 minutes, barely gives us any characterization, but not that we expected any from something called Death Race 2000. The film is stupid- extremely almost godly stupid, but unlike many films that are stupid and just not worth watching, Death Race 2000 is more entertaining than any Transformers move of the last decade.

Reason to Watch

Sylvester Stallone plays someone awesome who isn’t Rambo, a career 180.

Context

It is the dystopian future of the year 2000 where people battled for their lives in massive car arenas. In the REAL year 2000, city kids played Nintendo 64 on their 420 resolution tv’s and downloaded songs from Napster at the quick immediate pace of 10 kb a second through their dial-up connection.

Most Memorable Quote(s)
  • Matilda the Hun: Whoever named your car the Bull… was only half right! 
  • Junior: Here he comes: Machine Gun Joe! Loved by thousands, hated by millions! 
  • Frankenstein: You want to make love to me because I drive the Monster and wear this costume. 
What You Need to Get Through This Movie

A Sylvester Stallone plush Rambo doll

Trivia

Producer Roger Corman did many of the driving himself because the stuntmen were nervous they would get nabbed by cops or driving cars that were not street legal

The original role of Frankenstein was offered to Jane Fonda who found the film too ridiculous to humor with words

Educational Content
  • You can transform a terribly beat-up Vokswagan into a badass killing machine with Roger Corman on your side
  • Nothing is street legal, really
Justification for Rating

It is hard to rate Death Race 2000 because you know if you will like it or not far before you even watch a minute. a 6 sounds reasonable for a movie that should be awful

Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Of1UF-qVc18

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Scifi

Review of Plan 9 from Outer Space

Scifi Comments Off on Review of Plan 9 from Outer Space

Plan 9 from Outer SpaceRating: ★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆

Review

Plan 9 from Outer Space is about as bad as it gets in film making, but definitely follows the ‘so bad it’s good” mentality. The plot is just inane and senseless, but you do get a grasp of Ed Wood’s charm and eccentricity, and for classic film buffs, this is probably considered essential viewing. it also features some of the last-used footage of classic actor Bela Lugosi of Dracula fame. The movie is awful, truly and desperately awful. But its appeal somehow stands the test of time, and the dated special effects, even in the late 50’s, still holds a unique…umm..charm.

Reason to Watch

Ed Wood made zombies cool before they were even called zombies. In Ed Wood’s classically terrible film, Plan 9 From Outer Space, a group of aliens attempt to stop the humans from launching a doomsday device that would destroy the universe.

Context

it’s a classic, because you are told it’s a classic. So if you want to pretend you know about films, you sort of, by default, have to see it. that;’s just the way it goes. It’s also hilarious and if you want to prove snuffy film buffs that old films are actually terrible too, this is the way to do it.

Most Memorable Quote(s)
  • Paula Trent: Now, don’t you worry. The saucers are up there. The graveyard is out there. But I’ll be locked up safely in there.
  • Colonel Tom Edwards: Why is it so important that you want to contact the governments of our earth? 
    Eros: Because of death. Because all you of Earth are idiots. 
  • Tanna: What do you think will be the next obstacle the Earth people will put in our way? 
    Eros: Well, as long as they can think – we’ll have our problems. 
What You Need to Get Through This Movie

The movie had poor special effects even for 1959. Put yourself in the time, don’t finish 2009’s horrible special effects foray Transformers and dive into Plan 9 From Outer Space. Maybe a good search through Bigfoot pictures and alien spaceships or a SparksNotes reading of H.G. wells War of the Worlds will get you in the mood. It’s the only way.

Trivia
  1. Tim Burton’s biopic, Ed Wood, follows the famed director’s critical years, climaxing in the release and public damnation of Plan 9 From Outer Space.
  2. Bela Lugosi stars in the film posthumously, using regurgitated stock footage from previous films, as well as a few clips filmed right before his death
Educational Content

With 15,000 US dollars and friends with alien suits, even YOU could make a film as embarrassingly amazing.

Justification for Rating

Despites its major flaws, Plan 9 From outer Space is truly a classic in every sense of the word. yes, it will not stand prominently up to more visually respected mediums, its a great example of a man (Ed Wood) with motivation and no skills doing what he wants to simply because he wants to and he can.

Clip

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2ukRYsYPmo

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