Horror

Review of Lady Frankenstein

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Lady FrankensteinRating: ★★★½☆☆☆☆☆☆

Review

This movie is suspenseful, thriller, horror all in one. It is becoming comfortable about one’s identity without exploitation.

Reason to Watch

If you enjoy chilling, creeping music, I guess it’s worth it. I didn’t like scary sounds and gory scenes.

Context

The movie appeared to be based in 1800’s.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

results, not promises, I am a father’s daughter

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

It is boring and scary find it hard to stay in focus.

Trivia

Dracula and Frankenstein movies are all similar.

Educational Content

Trying experiments.

Justification for Rating

3,5 – just something to watch when there is no other choice.

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Thriller

Review of The Indestructible Man

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Indestructible ManRating: ★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Review

I guess the pitch went something like “It’s Dragnet meets Frankenstien starring Lon Chaney” To which the studio said,”Senior” to which the director said, “Technically no, but he will be dropping ‘Jr.’ for his credit.” It is the story of Charles ‘Butcher’ Benton (Lon Chaney) who having been stitched up by his partners in crime and now faces the death penalty for his part in a payroll truck robbery. However where there is a corpse there is a scientist looking to experiment. In this case Prof. Bradshaw wants to cure cancer and his method is to pump 300,000 volts of electricity into the corpse (not really sure on how this is suppose to cure cancer, but then I’m not a doctor). This brings the Butcher back to life, but stronger than ever and seemingly invulnerable, also his vocal cords got fried so he can’t speak, but his brain still functions and can think of nothing but revenge. The cops are soon on his trial but finding out he is impervious to bullets they have to bring out the big guns, bazookas and flame throwers. This all tasty film noir, LA streets, LA sewers, stock shots of police cars, an unstoppable monster with crazy eyes and a carnie thrown in for good measure. What’s not to like?

Reason to Watch

Unlike most B-Movies this actually has a plot you can follow, partly because everyone talks in exposition and partly because the plot is basically revenge. There nothing for the dames to scared about as only bad guys get it, by either being thrown or stepped on.

Context

It is the mid-fifties, Dragnet is in its prime on TV and Lon Chaney has started to get on a bit, his alcohol problem is not yet public knowledge, but he was facing hard times, thus dropping the “Jr” from his name to trade on the success of his father.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

Dick: I just got you fired.
Eva: Why?
Dick: I figured being my wife would take up most of your time.

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

This is a film you have watch like hard nosed detective, so that would a bottle of whiskey, and Dames who love it when you speak condescendingly to them.

Trivia

Lon Chaney Jr. (no relation to real life Bond villain Dick Cheney) spend much of his life chasing the fame of his father, silent god of the silver screen Lon Chaney Sr. In this film he attempts to out silence his father by speaking as little as possible and making it all about the eyes. Despite the tagline “300,000 volts of Horror!” they actually only get up to 278,000.

Educational Content

1. Scientists have caused more death and destru…1. Scientists have caused more death and destruction trying to cure cancer than cancer could ever done alone.
2. Lon Chaney was possibly paid by the word since after the opening scene he never speaks again.
3. Film maker Tip: If the plot makes no sense just turn your horror into a detective story and have the whole film narrated.
4. Mob guys squeal like little girls when they get picked up by Granddads.
5. You can find better looking dames trying hustle you into a fixing their flat tire than you can in burlesque show.

Justification for Rating

Over explained and predictable, this film is easy to watch because it just over an hour long. Fun can be had by dubbing in lines for the silent Lon Chaney.

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Horror

Review of Dead Men Walk

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Dead Men WalkRating: ★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆

Review

In the world of horror it is a given that in every set of twins, one is good and one is evil. In Dead Men Walk we open at the funeral of a man, we quickly find out that his brother killed him, but that is OK because the surviving brother is the good twin as the dead twin was evil and obsessed with the occult. However it is through occult that the evil twin wakes from the dead and is now suddenly and for no particular reason a vampire seeking revenge. This is a pretty good film in it’s own right, Frances Zucco gets to stretch his acting chops as both brothers, they even get to appear on screen at the same time in some pretty flashy special effects. What makes this film interesting is that that bad guy is the one seeking revenge and really his only crime was looking into the occult for which he brother threw him off a cliff. I would be feeling pretty revengeful myself.

Reason to Watch

There is a good story, the characters are interesting and the acting is actually pretty good. As a vampire film it lacks blood, but 1940s cinema had not yet reached the gore stage of evolution.

Context

This film sits quite comfortably among other horror films in the 30s and 40s, you have a clear bad guy, some occult, and loads of people who don’t believe that any of that crazy mumbo jumbo is real.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

“You’ll pray for death long before you die”.

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

To get through this movie, I suggest the following cocktail, drunken by practitioners of the occult the world over. Brian Hemorrhage 1 oz. Peach Schnapps 1 tsp. Bailey’s Irish Cream 2 drops Grenadine Pour the Peach Schnapps into a large shot glass. Slowly add the Bailey’s and top with the grenadine.

Trivia

Diretor Sam Newfield is renowned as the most prolific director in Hollywood history, he directed over 300 films, 16 of those in 1943 alone. Dead Men Walk was the last film for Mary Carlisle, following yet another damsel-in-distress role she quite the silver screen forever.

Educational Content

1. No one will investigate the death of someone who falls off a cliff.
2. Always have lackey on hand who will dig up your corpse if you die.
3. The evil twin always dresses in black.
4. Books about vampires don’t burn.
5. A blood transfusion with cure all ills.

Justification for Rating

Dead Men Walk, tells only a small lie in the title, since only a Dead Man Walks. But all is forgiven for this neat little film that is bookend by funerals with plenty of drama in-between.

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Horror

Review of Creature from the Haunted Sea

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Creature from the Haunted SeaRating: ★★½☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Review

A crook decides to bump off members of his inept crew and blame their deaths on a legendary sea creature. What he doesn’t know is that the creature is real

Reason to Watch

I would like to mention that the film quality was horrible throughout most of this film, as was the sound. It made it really hard to get good screenshots of the characters in most instances, yet the most cheesiest moster made up for it all!

Context

Made in the early sixties it took place after the revolution in Cuba at sea mainly.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

Mary Belle: “You know sump’n? We oughta get married.”
Renzo: “Now don’t be a drag baby.”

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

The only way youll make it through this B film is a couple shots of morphine and a cuban cigar!

Trivia

http://www.amazon.com/Creature-Haunted-Sea-Black-White/dp/B001BSBBMG (you can also watch it in color!!)

Educational Content

If you encounter any sea monsters while on a boating trip you have a very good chance of smelling like a big turd afterwards.

Justification for Rating

Though I give the monster a 10 in the laugh factor. The blurrness and horrible sound brang it down to a 2.5

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News

Troll 2 Cult Flicks Night September 11th

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September 11th, 2010 at the Tampa Pitcher Show Cult Flicks Latest Movie Troll 2 “Best Worst Movie”

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