CultFlicks.net

Rating:

Review

They Live is a seriously stupid movie, yet interestingly, that sort of reflects the culture of the times and the themes of the film. They Live has aliens ruling the world through television (media) turning all the people into slaves of the aliens (media). The people consume and consume to fuel the aliens strive for dominance, and the people are powerless to stop them. It seems like a terrible C-grade alien flick, and it most certainly is. But it also speaks on the culture of the era in a weird way. After John Carpenter took a break from milking the tit of the Halloween franchise, he encapsulated an overall thought process with intrigue and suspense, encased in a shell of a stupid movie.

Reason to Watch

They Live doesn’t pander to you as much as you deserve it to, and for that, it is worth your time.

Context

It’s a throwback to 50’s alien-grade visuals, and it has underlining messages of mass-consumerism and greed helmed by John Carpenter. Not bad for a one trick pony.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• Nada: I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass… and I’m all out of bubblegum. 
• Nada: Wooo. It’s like a drug. Wearing these glasses gets you high, but you come down hard. 
• Bearded Man: We could be pets, we could be food, but all we really are is livestock. 

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

All your receipts of the all the shit you bought in the last year, to make yourself feel bad and bring yourself into the movie with greater aplomb

Trivia

• The line “I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass, and I’m all out of bubble gum” was ad-libbed by Roddy Piper. According to director John Carpenter, Piper had taken the line from a list of ideas he had for his pro wrestling interviews. 
• Roddy Piper, being a married man at the time of filming, refused to take his wedding band off. That’s why in several scenes you can see a wedding ring on. 

Educational Content

If aliens were to invade, the first place they would go is to the televison stations

Mullets- still not retro

You may be married to, sleeping with, or sitting next to an alien. Men in Black taught you this one as well

Justification for Rating

Well, it’s a movie.

Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inZUDMGJsKo

Piranha DVD Cover

Rating:

Reason to Watch

Piranha are in the water. People shouldn’t go into the water, but they do. Other people know the piranha are there and shouldn’t go in the water to check it out, but they do. Piranha should differentiate between victims and People Who Are Just Evaluating The Situation, but they don’t.

This 1978 film is one of the cheap, scary-but-not-horror movies that were so prevalent then. Most of them were really bad and this one lives up to the standard. The acting is bad, the dialogue is worse and if anything in the plot surprises you, you’re too young to watch this movie. Go back to bed and don’t forget your teddy.

Context

Somebody wanted to make a movie about a killer animal, but all the sexy ones were taken. So were all of the good actors.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• Dumont: People eat fish, Grogan. Fish don’t eat people.
• Piranhas: Skree, skree, skree

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

A sense of humor or a really slow night on Netflix. But making up dialogue for the piranhas can be fun.

Trivia

In 2010, someone thought it would be a good idea to do a remake in 3-D. Hopefully, the actors had better clothes.

Educational Content

• Piranha make funny shrieking noises when they attack. Kind of like some people do at a Chinese buffet.
• If you wear corduroys pulled up to your armpits with a nice wide belt, you’re more likely to get eaten by piranhas.

Justification for Rating

It sucks like a Dyson.
Clip:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoCKGvVlNYM

Phantom of the Paradise Theatrical Poster

Rating:

Review

Before there was Rocky Horror, there was Phantom of the Paradise.

This rock opera-styled comedy written and directed by Brian dePalma is a witty and very campy blending of Faust and The Phantom of the Opera. The story is centered on songwriter and composer Winslow Leach (played more or less badly by William Finley), who has his music stolen and adulterated by the somewhat Satanic, wildly successful record producer Swan (played impishly and yet with a hint of sinister by Paul Williams).  When Leach confronts Swan, Swan has him beaten and imprisoned on trumped-up drug charges.

Leach manages a prison break, breaks into Swan’s record-press facility and gets disfigured by the hot presses while trying to sabotage the system. Later, he breaks into the rock palace owned by Swan and finds himself a nice phantom costume to wear as he begins a campaign to terrorize everyone and sabotage the opening of Swan’s new rock theatre. As with Phantom of the Opera, there’s a love interest and as with Faust, we know early on that Swan is something of a devil, who has Leach sign a “contract” in exchange for using his music.

Reason to Watch

There are some great lines in this movie, along with frequent and funny allusions to other films. The send-up of the famous shower scene from Psycho is one of the film’s funniest moments, as are the scenes featuring the effeminate-yet-butch lead singer Beef (played hilariously by Gerritt Graham). Some of the music isn’t bad, either, which isn’t surprising. Paul Williams created the score and wrote the songs for the film at the height of his career.

Context

Phantom of the Paradise came out at the height of the early 70s “Weird=Good” era. It bombed at the box office initially, but quickly became a cult favorite, especially in Canada, where it ran for a year.

If your idea of a good rock musical-movie is one that takes its music very seriously, then this flick will probably piss you off a bit. However, if you like music and films that make fun of themselves and the culture in which they were made, you’ll have a lot of fun.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• Beef: I know drug -real from real-real.
• Beef: The karma in here is so thick you need an aqualung to breathe.
• Beef: Swan, this was scored for a chick. I’m not doing it in drag.

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

There’s something for everybody here: horror, comedy, rock music and romance. If you can’t find something to like in this movie, then a movie may not be able to help you, anyway. This is supposed to be fun, it’s supposed to be silly and it’s supposed to be weird. It succeeds beautifully.

Grab some throwback snacks and  just enjoy the movie for what it is. Like all cult classics, it requires you to loosen up a bit, so do some stretching beforehand.

Trivia

Originally, Paul Williams was supposed to play the Phantom and Gerrit Graham was supposed to play Swan. Everyone switched roles just a couple of weeks before shooting started. Paul Williams felt he wasn’t quite scary enough. The diminutive songwriter who brought us “Just An Old-Fashioned Love Song” may have been right. But he’s nicely sleazy as Swan.

The actors who play the three bands in the film (The Juicy Fruits, The Beach Bums and The Undead) all did their own choreography, then just showed up to shoot.

Educational Content

• If someone asks you to sign a contract in blood, you really need to have a lawyer look at it first.
• Never face plant on a record press.

Justification for Rating

The movie does everything it sets out to do. Cheesy, yes, but not unsuccessful.

Clip

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2n5qVJEg3qA

Rating:

Review

This is one ridiculously bizarre film. Repo Man stars Emilio Estevez is a troubled comically cliche punk rock heathen. Yet, after a series of events, he finds himself driving to drop off something that you wouldn’t believe it if I told you items being carried in his trunk. The film really has two parts. The first is just a charming harmless little comedy flick. the second is a driveling borderline nonsensical series of science-fiction flair. Repo Man is dated and very much focused in its, umm, focus, but it is too over-the-top to pass up.

Reason to Watch

Emilio Estevez of The Breakfast Club fame is slowly turned insane by aliens. Yes, aliens. Sorry for the spoiler, but I couldn’t hold that back.

Context

Repo Man doesn’t have much to say about life, reality, what have you, but it is just too ludicrous to not be watched at least once in passing. the dialogue is almost self-parody of the era, and if the trailer didn’t clarify anything for you, the film sure as hell won’t.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• Debbi: Duke, let’s go do some crimes.
  Duke: Yeah. Let’s go get sushi and not pay.
• Duke: You say our names, we’re going to have to kill all these people, Archie.
• Bud: Look at those assholes, ordinary fucking people. I hate ’em.

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

A Netflix account, because you ain’t going to find this bitch any other way.

Trivia

You can see graffiti for the punk band The Circle Jerks, the same band that plays later in the film

The photo of aliens depicted in the film is actually condoms filled with water

Educational Content

• Repo men have it hard and obtain greater success in proportion to the economy’s failure
• If you own an air freshener business, endorse a movie about cars
• Aliens are wimps if you own a car or have even a few collective brain cells

Justification for Rating

For all the oddities and bizarre encounters and stupidly funny acting by Emilio Estevez and some other one shot characters, Repo Man is a terrible average movie.

Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLGrXGEMOSo

Rating:

Review

1984 is wholly drowning in science-fiction oddities. Some of them fail miserably and others are quaint and retreaded, though sort of intriguing. Night of the Comet is unabashedly open to taking in influences from many mediums and genres, sort of crafting a romance story around a science-fiction tale, capping it with humor and drama alike. Night of the Comet isn’t particuarly good, but for what it does, you come to appreciation the seamlessness of making so many types of movies in one and having it turn less into a hodge podge mess and something not entirely pretentious. Night of the Comet is quiet for all its exaggerated tendencies, and the film comes and goes without making a huge splash, but a quiet simmer that will stick for some time. Like a slow kiss and not meaningless mediocre sex, Night of the Comet is pretty and interesting, and for sci-fi in the 80’s, that’s about as modest as it gets.

Reason to Watch

Night of the Comet does a lot right, and doesn’t focus on one thing to drive the characters through their silly story.

Context

The film’s charming elements are helped further by a story that actually sort of makes sense, something akin to a god-like impossibility in mid-80’s science-fiction realm.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• Willy: You wouldn’t believe what we want from you. In your worst nightmare you wouldn’t believe. 
• Regina Belmont: C’mon Hector, the MAC-10 submachine gun was practically designed for housewives. 

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

A nice cup of coffee and your viewing glasses, this contradicts the absurdity with a little bit of wholesome goodness

Trivia

• The original working title for the film was Teenage Mutant Horror Comet Zombies.
• The Shopping Mall featured in Night of the Comet was the Sherman Oaks Galleria. The Galleria has been used for several movies including Terminator and Fast Times at Ridegmont High.

Educational Content

If famed gruesome horror/children’s film director Robert Rodriguez likes something, it’s probably good

Malls are creepy when empty

If Night of the Comet does something right, they remind you that Dawn of the Dead is a good movie

Justification for Rating

Unlike many cult films, Night of the Comet is a legitimate engrossing movie. it takes influences from many different sources, yet on its own, its a nice mix of many different things that work well together, as opposed to a blender of random items that make a chunky gross brown smoothie.

Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91xWXTIwTwM