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Rating:

Review

This film should have been amazing, and in some ways, it absolutely is. The plot is inane and the characters beyond idiotic, but the quirkiness is escalated by the sheer absurdity of the events. Chaz, Rex, and Pip LOVE rock and roll. They love rock and roll enough to hold a radio station hostage until their music is played. And chaos ensues. The film’s plot is as flimsy as a combover, but it does introduce us to some almost iconic archetypes. Adam Sandler and Steve Buscemi play wildly retarded (apologies but that’s basically their characters) individuals, and the plot becomes even more outrageous as time goes on. but for music fans, and fans of terribly ill-conceived humour, Airheads might be for you.

Reason to Watch

Grunge rock was once the shit, and this is a nice little reminder of that

Context

Airheads is essentially a less funny more painfully obnoxious version of This is Spinal Tap, and yet, you feel compelled and drawn into its 90’s aesthetics and terrible sweater shirts.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• Chazz: Yvonne, get your shit and go. You’ll be home in time for The Simpsons. 
• Chazz: We got to send one person out. 
  Pip: I’ll go. 
  Rex: One of the hostages, doof. 

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

A suspension of disbelief. These guys someone, in some way, manage to succeed (arguably). Knowing their terribly garage band made it off the ground and your awful post-jam collective failed may infuriate.

Trivia

Lead singer of famed metal band Motorhead, Lemmy, makes an appearance in the film

The character Rex is a representation of Rex Brown from metal band, Pantera

Educational Content

• By being a criminal you can, in fact, get your career known. though dj’s and record label executives have known that for years
• Adam Sandler has been playing the same role long before Little Nicky and The Waterboy

Justification for Rating

Airheads isn’t particularly a BAD film, but it does introduce too many presumptions for the viewer. For a dumb 90’s popcorn film that focuses more on grunge rock and less on quality, like a Soundgarden album or Brendan Fraser’s career, this one is for you.

Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-tj-4M-Jok

Rating:

Review

This is one ridiculously bizarre film. Repo Man stars Emilio Estevez is a troubled comically cliche punk rock heathen. Yet, after a series of events, he finds himself driving to drop off something that you wouldn’t believe it if I told you items being carried in his trunk. The film really has two parts. The first is just a charming harmless little comedy flick. the second is a driveling borderline nonsensical series of science-fiction flair. Repo Man is dated and very much focused in its, umm, focus, but it is too over-the-top to pass up.

Reason to Watch

Emilio Estevez of The Breakfast Club fame is slowly turned insane by aliens. Yes, aliens. Sorry for the spoiler, but I couldn’t hold that back.

Context

Repo Man doesn’t have much to say about life, reality, what have you, but it is just too ludicrous to not be watched at least once in passing. the dialogue is almost self-parody of the era, and if the trailer didn’t clarify anything for you, the film sure as hell won’t.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• Debbi: Duke, let’s go do some crimes.
  Duke: Yeah. Let’s go get sushi and not pay.
• Duke: You say our names, we’re going to have to kill all these people, Archie.
• Bud: Look at those assholes, ordinary fucking people. I hate ’em.

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

A Netflix account, because you ain’t going to find this bitch any other way.

Trivia

You can see graffiti for the punk band The Circle Jerks, the same band that plays later in the film

The photo of aliens depicted in the film is actually condoms filled with water

Educational Content

• Repo men have it hard and obtain greater success in proportion to the economy’s failure
• If you own an air freshener business, endorse a movie about cars
• Aliens are wimps if you own a car or have even a few collective brain cells

Justification for Rating

For all the oddities and bizarre encounters and stupidly funny acting by Emilio Estevez and some other one shot characters, Repo Man is a terrible average movie.

Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLGrXGEMOSo

Rating:

Review

When Dan O’Bannon and George Romero crafted Night of the Living Dead in the late 60’s, the producers and the duo themselves never obtained proper copyright. In totality, the franchise naming and overall premise wasn’t particularly owned by anyone, allowing both O’Bannon and Romero to create two deviating franchises based on the original movie. Due to creative differences, the two parted, and O’Bannon took a more humors approach to the zombie apocalypse, ushering in Return of the Living Dead and four sequels. And like many many-sequeled franchises, it is the earliest iteration that obtains the most respect. Return of the Living Dead is a largely comical trope through the zombie outbreak, drowning in comical overdone make-up effects and solidifying many zombie archetypes that stay in place even to today.

Reason to Watch

If you felt the zombie apocalypse story lacked a little comedy relief this way of jar Jar Binks or Animal House, return of the Living Dead is there to save the day.

Context

Return of the Living Dead is violent, gruesome, and horrifying stupid. With that said, it’s pure unrelenting entertainment, and I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• Burt Wilson: I thought you said if we destroyed the brain, it’d die! 
  Frank: It worked in the movie! 
  Burt Wilson: Well, it ain’t working now, Frank! 
  Freddy: You mean the movie lied? 
• Suicide: How come you guys only come around when you need a ride someplace? 
  Spider: ‘Cause you’re one spooky motherfucker, man. 

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

A love for zombie films is pretty necessary. this thing is straight zombie grade-A sweetness

Trivia

• The film’s original intention was to be filmed in 3-D. Not quite Avatar level 3-D I’m sure, but also two decades before that movie became a hit
• Executives attempted to get George A. Romero involved with the project as producer, and had a hefty lump to pay. He never responded
• The director was shocked to see so many females interested in the film, saying he would have shown Thom Matthews naked if he knew that would occur

Educational Content

Even in death, you have a sense of humour

Nicknames make you zombie fodder

Justification for Rating

This unrelenting take on the zombie franchise works better as a comedy and as an entertaining film far more than any of George A. Romero’s latter-day zombie attempts where he essentially took the zombies in a direction of banding together and forming societies- except without the comedy and more of a “we’re serious, we’re building a farm” angle. it was awful.

Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wylpeAXYcBQ

Rating:

Review

Do you like video games? Do you like murdering people? Do you think playing video games that murder people is not only awesome, but morally awesome? Death Race 2000 pits you as a viewer, in a game where individuals who are usually burly, unnecessarily aggressive, and drowning in their own testosterone against others where they race, main, and kill each other- to death. the better the kill, the more points. The film, at only 80 minutes, barely gives us any characterization, but not that we expected any from something called Death Race 2000. The film is stupid- extremely almost godly stupid, but unlike many films that are stupid and just not worth watching, Death Race 2000 is more entertaining than any Transformers move of the last decade.

Reason to Watch

Sylvester Stallone plays someone awesome who isn’t Rambo, a career 180.

Context

It is the dystopian future of the year 2000 where people battled for their lives in massive car arenas. In the REAL year 2000, city kids played Nintendo 64 on their 420 resolution tv’s and downloaded songs from Napster at the quick immediate pace of 10 kb a second through their dial-up connection.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• Matilda the Hun: Whoever named your car the Bull… was only half right! 
• Junior: Here he comes: Machine Gun Joe! Loved by thousands, hated by millions! 
• Frankenstein: You want to make love to me because I drive the Monster and wear this costume. 

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

A Sylvester Stallone plush Rambo doll

Trivia

Producer Roger Corman did many of the driving himself because the stuntmen were nervous they would get nabbed by cops or driving cars that were not street legal

The original role of Frankenstein was offered to Jane Fonda who found the film too ridiculous to humor with words

Educational Content

• You can transform a terribly beat-up Vokswagan into a badass killing machine with Roger Corman on your side
• Nothing is street legal, really

Justification for Rating

It is hard to rate Death Race 2000 because you know if you will like it or not far before you even watch a minute. a 6 sounds reasonable for a movie that should be awful

Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Of1UF-qVc18

Rating:

Review

Once you get past the poor title and the fact the movie is black and white it can be an half decent movie. The plot is about an ex-army major who seems to be a bit mental with deluded plans on conquering the world with some ‘transparent’ super soldiers. With the unwilling help of Dr. Ulof an invisibilty machine is created. Before all this a safe cracker is broken out of prison by an attractive blonde. They drive past a policeman who didnt have the common sense to ask to see the mysterious man in the passenger seat even though he had a hat on his face.

The film starts to get more scifi with Dr. Ulof chatting about using some dangerous reactive material and then blasts the safe cracker with the ‘Transparency Ray’. He then heads off to steal some atomic, nuclear things from a heavily gaurded safe but then turns against the ex-major and by the end of the film everyones double-crossed each other which left me a bit dumfounded.

Reason to Watch

Theres some comical fights with guards and baddies alike fighting thin air and alot of the acting is either overdone or the opposite with some actors left expressionless. Also some good camera work as the invisible guy fades in and out which i suppose was hi-tech for the 1960s.

Context

The 1960s/70s was the golden era for american B-movies however most of these went down the route of exploitation – and so the films were nick named ‘nudies’. Edgar G. Ulmer had plenty of chances to make some big budget A – movies but instead went with the cheap, wacky stuff.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

I did not agree to kill a man by deliberate radiation poisoning.

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

The only way to see past the poor acting skills of Douglas Kennedy and the budget of $100 is with a few litres of sangria and some good friends to distract from the TV.

Trivia

Edgar G. Ulmer filmed this and ‘Beyond the Time Barrier’ back to back in just two weeks.
The film was later featured in an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K) an american cult comedy series about a man who is forced to watch terrible american B-movies – no joke, but in the end this show won a few awards and has quite a few followers.

Educational Content

X-rays can make you invisible – just remember that next time you break a bone, you might end up with no arm.

Justification for Rating

This movie definitely fits under the heading of, ‘so bad it ends up good’.

Clip