Starcrash seems to be something written by an immature Star Wars fanboy with 1,200 bucks and a couple of cameras. It somehow manages to have some measly starpower in a movie that is so wrought with poor special effects, low production values, and a convoluted plot born from the orifices of Alien: Ressurection. Starcrash is a terribly ill-conceived film, so it’s no wonder it has established a steady cult following decades after its release. A group of starfighters are sent out to destroy the evil Count Zarth Arn and stop whatever bullshit he’s up to. They fail miserably, but a survivor manages to meet up with a team of silly rogue-types and they ressurect the mission to take down the Count for good.
The plot is thin as 1% milk, and I can’t even say it has a huge charming appeal. But it is terrible, and for cult film fans, that could be the only requirement. Starcrash is the poor man’s Star Wars, 2 years after Star Wars became a thing. there were many of them around that time, Starcrash is the one most teetering between total hilarity and sheer awfulness.
Reason to Watch
Caroline Munro may not be a household name, but who cares. Her skimpy unproductive space fighting suit the “space-kini” and her overall badassery is enough to watch this thing three times over.
Starcrash is an awful awful movie but it does sort of sum up the entirety of late 70’s action science-fiction flicks without all the overt presumptions following Star Wars.
Most Memorable Quote(s)
- Zarth Arn: By sunset I’ll be the new emperor. And I’ll be the master of the whole universe!
- L: Circuits don’t fail me now!
- Emperor of the Galaxy: For the space of three minutes, every molecule on this planet will be immobilized. But after the third minute, the green ray loses it’s power. Time will flow once more and everything will explode.
What You Need to Get Through This Movie
An appreciation for painful ear-splitting dialogue
The producers and studio executives told director Luigi Cozzi to make the film as much like Star Wars as physically possible without breaking legalities
There is known stateside DVD release of Starcrash.
Producers were extremely hesitant to show Starcrash to music composer John Barry fearing he will abandon the project
All of Christopher Plummer’s shots for the Emperor were done in a single day
- Robots dissolve as they die
- The original attention for Caroline Munro was to have her in the scantily clad space-kini for the entirety of the film, but producers feared not getting a pass in American markets
Justification for Rating
Sometimes, a beautiful model in space underwear isn’t enough to salvage a terrible movie