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7. GoldenEye

Coming in at number seven is the seventeenth Bond film, Goldeneye. The reason it makes the list is simple: the end of the short-lived Timothy Dalton era and the beginning of the modern Bond age.  There’s always that suspicion between Bond films of the new guy, and Pierce Brosnan could have been a lot worse. He brought back the playfulness that had been missing with ol’ Tim. Dalton played Bond pretty dark, and the freshness of the ass-patting and silly gadgetry allowed the welcome reminiscing of the Roger Moore days. The plot wasn’t bad, the girls were hot, and the explosions had that big-budget feel. Read the rest of this entry »

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Review

A homosexual sorceress with perfect hair and an affinity for buff young men puts on a masturbatory homage to street fighting, with a tropic twist. The greatest fighters in world not named Chuck Norris or Gary Coleman set forth to do battle to the death in order to save the earth. Mortal Kombat will take you to places you were pretty sure they would go, but with the help of the hottest 10,000 year old chick you will ever see they just might be able to pull off the greatest up set known to man. Read the rest of this entry »