CultFlicks.netBad Movie Reviews and More!
ReviewWith the latest movie from Kevin Smith, “Zack and Miri Make a Porno” coming out soon, I thought this would be a good time to take a look at some of the moments from the career of everybody’s favorite pot-smoking, comic book-reading, Star Wars-obsessing director, Kevin Smith. 
ReviewKoyaanisqatsi is a little harder to review than most. There are no characters and no dialogue and no blatant plot. It is at times beautiful, at others sad, and at still other times terrifying or disgusting. Koyaanisqatsi is simply a film of the world, her people, and what they have done and will do to perpetuate life. It is moving art; slow, meandering shots of the beautiful California deserts, juxtaposed against the super-fast everyday life at a hot dog packaging plant, transitioning into crowds of people herding in and out of shopping malls like the cattle we can sometimes emulate, and all set to an absolutely haunting Philip Glass score. Though perhaps a hard movie to watch with your dude-bros on a Friday night while sipping some brewskies, Koyaanisqatsi is great for those nights when you are alone and wanting to experience your very own introspective nightmare. Read the rest of this entry » 
ReviewIf I told you that a movie had blood, guts, gore, and a Playboy model, you would probably be pretty excited, right? Don’t pull your pants down just yet: Blood Feast is an abomination of all that is horrific. Fuad Ramses is the proprietor of an Egyptian catering business when said Playmate’s mom rings up and asks him to prepare something… different. Ramses, of course, suggests something… Egyptian: an Egyptian Feast! Little does any know (although they should, given that they explain to everyone at every chance possible exactly what an Egyptian Feast consists of), all of the murders that have been happening lately are just Ramses collecting the ingredients for said feast. Good thing your typical Keystone Cops are on the case (yeesh!). Read the rest of this entry »
Final Fantasy: The Spirits WithinFinal Fantasy: The Spirits Within, while maybe not so awful it would make you want rip out your eyes with wasabi-tipped chopsticks, it is most certainly way overhyped. Even A-list celebrities (Alec Baldwin, Ving Rhames, and Steve Buscemi) and state of the art CGI aren’t enough to make this movie watchable more than once. A bland story line that’s not up to par with any of the games makes me wish that I hadn’t doled out my eight bucks to see this in the theater.
ReviewPoor fellow Henry Spencer has knocked up Mary X and her insane parents insist that he now has to do the right thing. The only problem is, the baby is a weird mutant sheep thing, incessantly crying and getting a disgustiing cough every ten seconds. Yech!! What’s a guy to do but escape into a fantasy world of, well, imaginary seed pod worms, gigantic sperm, and mash potato-cheeked singing whores? That’s what, I guess. |
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