Documentary

Review of Koyaanisqatsi

Documentary 6 Comments »

Rating: ★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆

Review

Koyaanisqatsi is a little harder to review than most. There are no characters and no dialogue and no blatant plot. It is at times beautiful, at others sad, and at still other times terrifying or disgusting. Koyaanisqatsi is simply a film of the world, her people, and what they have done and will do to perpetuate life. It is moving art; slow, meandering shots of the beautiful California deserts, juxtaposed against the super-fast everyday life at a hot dog packaging plant, transitioning into crowds of people herding in and out of shopping malls like the cattle we can sometimes emulate, and all set to an absolutely haunting Philip Glass score. Though perhaps a hard movie to watch with your dude-bros on a Friday night while sipping some brewskies, Koyaanisqatsi is great for those nights when you are alone and wanting to experience your very own introspective nightmare. Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: , , ,
Horror

Review of Blood Feast

Horror 4 Comments »

Rating: ★½☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Review

If I told you that a movie had blood, guts, gore, and a Playboy model, you would probably be pretty excited, right? Don’t pull your pants down just yet: Blood Feast is an abomination of all that is horrific.

Fuad Ramses is the proprietor of an Egyptian catering business when said Playmate’s mom rings up and asks him to prepare something… different. Ramses, of course, suggests something… Egyptian: an Egyptian Feast! Little does any know (although they should, given that they explain to everyone at every chance possible exactly what an Egyptian Feast consists of), all of the murders that have been happening lately are just Ramses collecting the ingredients for said feast. Good thing your typical Keystone Cops are on the case (yeesh!). Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: , , , , , , ,
Lists

5 Movies Better Left as Video Games

Lists 10 Comments »

final fantasy the spirits within

Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within

Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, while maybe not so awful it would make you want rip out your eyes with wasabi-tipped chopsticks, it is most certainly way overhyped. Even A-list celebrities (Alec Baldwin, Ving Rhames, and Steve Buscemi) and state of the art CGI aren’t enough to make this movie watchable more than once. A bland story line that’s not up to par with any of the games makes me wish that I hadn’t doled out my eight bucks to see this in the theater.

Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Horror

Review of Eraserhead

Horror 4 Comments »

Rating: ★★★★½☆☆☆☆☆

Review

Poor fellow Henry Spencer has knocked up Mary X and her insane parents insist that he now has to do the right thing. The only problem is, the baby is a weird mutant sheep thing, incessantly crying and getting a disgustiing cough every ten seconds. Yech!! What’s a guy to do but escape into a fantasy world of, well, imaginary seed pod worms, gigantic sperm, and mash potato-cheeked singing whores? That’s what, I guess.

Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: , , , , , ,
Thriller

Review of Dementia 13

Thriller 5 Comments »

Rating: ★★½☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Review

If you’ve ever wondered, “I wonder what  Francis Ford Coppola was doing before The Godfather, one of the greatest films in history of people making films ever?”, then look no further than Dementia 13. Yes, folks, from low budget b-film to “Greatest Filmmaker Ever” in under a decade. You, too, can start out making “Adult Features”, work your way into “Cult Horror”, and then go on to define a genre. But most likely not. D-13 is not a terrible movie; it’s got that “a director was here” feel to it, with some nifty camera angles and a couple of cool shots, but for every glimpse of a promising director, you have two moments of a drunken screenwriter. I was either too intoxicated or not intoxicated enough to understand what was going on. Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: , , , , ,
Designed by NattyWP and Sourcetoad.
Copyright 2008.