Horror

Review of 100 Tears

Horror 9 Comments »

Rating: ★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆

Review

Ah, clowns. For all of the joy and laughter they attempt to bring to children and adults alike, one just cannot help but be creeped out by them. Perhaps it’s the incessant, unwavering smile; it makes it impossible to gauge their emotions, so we see them as sociopathic machines. Maybe it’s the ingrained fear that they are all John Wayne Gacy under the white face and red nose. Regardless of the reason, clowns are fucking scary, and Director Marcus Koch takes advantage of this fact in his 2007 film, 100 Tears.
Gurdy is the king badass of your killer clown genre. Using a cartoon-sized meat cleaver, he out-butchers Pennywise, the Killer Klowns from Outer Space, and Pogo the Clown combined, and within the first quarter of the movie. Killing with indifference, Gurdy mercilessly disembowels girls, slaughters invalids, and tortures teens for the length of the movie. And it never gets old.
Sure, there’s more story to the story (something about tabloid reporters and midgets), but 100 Tears’ true brilliance shines through in the relentless blood-letting and the quite believable and disgusting special effects and makeup. No CGI here, kids; this movie is filled with good, old-fashioned latex-head decapitations and fake-blood bonanzas.

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Horror

Review of Werewolf Woman

Horror 6 Comments »

La Lupa MannaraRating: ★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆

Review

Believe it or not kids, there was once a day when porn was not a mouse click away. Back in those days, we had to find other ways to see boobs, and horror films provided that opportunity. I remember the joys seeing “The Hunger” for the first time, that sexy section of video took some wear and tear I can tell you. So why this relevant? “Werewolf Woman” is basically a softcore porn film masquerading as a horror. The film starts off with a naked woman dancing around a fire before she turns into a werewolf and kills some people.

Flash forward to the “modern” day where distant relative Daniella Neseri (Annik Borel), having been recently raped, now makes an emotional connection to her family’s past before going on a killing spree which includes a lot of the biting out of men’s’ throats. She does not actually turn into a were-wolf; she just acts like one. She is, however, cured when she falls in love with a stuntman. They run along sandy beaches and they laugh and blah blah blah as he jumps through windows and crashes burning motorcycles. Fortunately, before it turns into the prequel to The Notebook, she is raped by three men and her boyfriend is killed. This sets her off again and she ends up in an asylum – typical. This is campy 70’s horror with bright red blood and loads of pointless nudity. Best of all, it’s based on a true story, but any similarities between anyone living or dead is apparently purely coincidental.

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Fan Reviews

Fan Review of The Child Molester (Part 1)

Fan Reviews Comments Off on Fan Review of The Child Molester (Part 1)


Rating: ★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆

Review

It seems that times have not changed since the 1960s, we still warn our kids about stranger danger, when we should really be looking out for Uncle Touchy Feely. Anyway this is a disturbing little film directed at parents telling them to tell their children to stay away from strangers lest they be raped and killed. Shocking? Yes. And you haven’t even seen the real crime photos yet. Although the film is firm on telling parents that they are the ones who should warn their children many kids were subjected to this film at school leaving mental scares and nightmares that would last rest of their life. Kind of ironic, damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. Read the rest of this entry »

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Fan Reviews

Fan Review of Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter

Fan Reviews 1 Comment »


Rating: ★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Review

“The movie is about a stupid girl with her unreasonable experiments on men. This was presented by the director in a manner that not everybody can enjoy. Here in this movie their is no need to wonder what madane frankenstein would have actually done with the bulging baldy. she creates if she was given half a chance.

The cock on table changes position between shorts when the wild bunch is telling jessie james the robbery plan and their legendary outlaw of old west jesse james,on the run from marshall,macphee,hides out in the castle.” Read the rest of this entry »

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Fan Reviews

Fan Review of Atom Age Vampire

Fan Reviews 2 Comments »


To read an explanation of how we came across such bad reviews for such bad movies, click here.
Rating: ★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Review

“The film Atom Age Vampir also known as “”Seddok, l’erede di Satana”” was released on 19th August 1960.This film goes around a lady who is a singer/dancer. Unfortunately one day she meets an accident.As a result she looses her beautiful appearance. Later a doctor looks after her and give her a good look this whole process involves  many horrible scenes.To give her a good appearance the doctor will give her additional treatments using glands taken from murdered women.

These scenes are somewhat horrible to watch.In this period,she fells in love with him.The film has a somewhat low quality and poorly directed. This film is a mixture of horror and fiction. This is one of the horror movies released in the year 1960.” Read the rest of this entry »

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