Action

Review of The Warriors

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The Warriors CoverRating: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆

Review

Gang warfare. it’s not always very pleasant (never is) but it does make for some great film-making. The television show The Wire handled it superbly and proved that being in a gang totally sucks. The thing is, and the Warriors preaches this well- gangs offer you protection, a protection that is only necessary if you are in a gang. The Warriors follows a few key gangs in New York City in the late 70’s. It’s also a no-holds-barred event of club beating, arrests, and getting the absolutel shit beat out of you. The ending? They all lose.

Reason to Watch

Urban kids beat the hell out of each other for no discernible reason. It’s a classic!

Context

The Warriors is awfully dated, but it captures a ruthlessness very few films have captured since in the gang livelihood. it’s also unintentionally hysterical, which gives the film legs.

Most Memorable Quote(s)
  • Ajax: [to Swan] Since when are you a fuckin’ diplomat? 
  • Ajax: Maybe you’re all just goin’ faggot. 
What You Need to Get Through This Movie

A bat, to act out your favorite scenes as they play out

Trivia
  • The name Ajax came after the Greek Warrior.
  • Filming during the scene with the Orphans was interrupted by a police chase.
  • Filming was allowed to take place uninterrupted all night, a first.
Educational Content

All female gangs are the toughest, don’t pretend they aren’t

Justification for Rating

The Warriors has some classic bad vs. bad vs. morally gray stories played out in an arena called New York City. It’s fresh, new- a 6 rating.

Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0P6MqHccBSI

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Action

Review of Coffy

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Coffy

Coffy

 

 

Rating: ★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Reason to Watch

“Coffy” is one of many blaxploitation movies that Pam Grier starred in during the 1970s. She’s beautiful and occasionally believable, but most people just want to see her do her thing. Her thing is generally killing bad guys while looking good in a jumpsuit.

In “Coffy”, Pam plays an upstanding but no-nonsense nurse (named Coffy) who works hard and loves her little sister. The sister gets involved in drugs and gets hold of some bad heroin. This gets Coffy seriously pissed and she puts on her Killin’ People  jumpsuit, hides various and sundry weapons in her afro and hits the streets.  The rest of the movie consists of her running around the city shooting people with her shotgun. It’s fun.

Context

This is the era that brought us “Shaft” and Pam Grier was often called “The Female Shaft.”

Most Memorable Quote(s)
  • Coffy: (rubbing a bad guy’s crotch) Are you sure you’re not just a little black?
  • Coffy:  It was easy for him because he really didn’t believe it was comin’, but it ain’t gonna be easy for you, because you better believe it’s comin’!
What You Need to Get Through This Movie

A love of the 1970s will do you great service. The clothes, the music and the slang are a ton of fun.

Trivia

It was Pam’s idea to hide weapons in her rather impressive afro.

The head bad guy’s house actually belonged to Roy Rogers, who would probably put his own jumpsuit on if he knew.

Educational Content
  • If you’re a bad guy about to kill an avenging woman, don’t believe her when she says she’d like to hook up before you do her in.
  • Bad guys always believe avenging women when they say they want to hook up before being done in.
Justification for Rating

It’s funny (mostly unintentionally but sometimes not) and it’s retro.

Clip:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jVAIitIP-4

 

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Horror

Review of Ginger Snaps

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Ginger Snaps

Ginger Snaps DVD Cover

 

 

Rating: ★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆

Review

Your first clue to the type of movie you’re about to see is the title, which is a play on words in a couple of witty ways. Ginger is the name of the lead character who is bitten and infected by a werewolf on the day she gets her period.  She then goes on a killing spree, as any self-respecting werewolf would. It’s also a euphemism for a quick, unexpected dog bite. This kind of black comedy is what you’re in for, along with a good bit of gore.

Ginger and her sister consider themselves weird because they stage and photograph bloody death scenes. Then they find out that they’re really weird because one of them is now a werewolf. Your basic heavy metal, sex kitten kinda werewolf, but a lycanthrope nonetheless. A pissy one, too.

Reason to Watch

If you’re into some pretty heavy gore, like pretty young women, dark humor and metal music, you’re probably going to be a happy little viewer.  If you’re into analysis of such films, you can ponder the fact that this film was praised for using werewolfism as a metaphor for puberty. To this reviewer (a female) , it seemed more like a tongue-in-cheek illustration of how deadly women can become when they’re on their period.

Context

This film started production right after Colombine and took quite a publicity hit for its glorifcation of teen violence.

Most Memorable Quote(s)
  • Ginger: The fuck, Bee. This is your idea. If you don’t like your ideas, stop having them.
  • Bridget: Are you sure it’s just cramps?
    Ginger: Just so you know… the words “just” and “cramps,” they don’t go together.
What You Need to Get Through This Movie

Midol and a silver belly ring.

Educational Content
  • Silver belly rings do not contain enough silver to cure werewolfism.
  • Being a werewolf apparently makes you quite horny.
Justification for Rating

It’s heavy on the gore and a bit on the depressing side, even for horror. However, the occasional humor is quite good. In fact, writer Karen Walton won an International Horror Award for Pretty Funny Writing. Not making that up.

Clip

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zoa1A987A_k

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Comedy

Review of Phantom of the Paradise

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Phantom of the Paradise Theatrical Poster

Phantom of the Paradise Theatrical Poster

 

 

 

 

 

Rating: ★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆

Review

Before there was Rocky Horror, there was Phantom of the Paradise.

This rock opera-styled comedy written and directed by Brian dePalma is a witty and very campy blending of Faust and The Phantom of the Opera. The story is centered on songwriter and composer Winslow Leach (played more or less badly by William Finley), who has his music stolen and adulterated by the somewhat Satanic, wildly successful record producer Swan (played impishly and yet with a hint of sinister by Paul Williams).  When Leach confronts Swan, Swan has him beaten and imprisoned on trumped-up drug charges.

Leach manages a prison break, breaks into Swan’s record-press facility and gets disfigured by the hot presses while trying to sabotage the system. Later, he breaks into the rock palace owned by Swan and finds himself a nice phantom costume to wear as he begins a campaign to terrorize everyone and sabotage the opening of Swan’s new rock theatre. As with Phantom of the Opera, there’s a love interest and as with Faust, we know early on that Swan is something of a devil, who has Leach sign a “contract” in exchange for using his music.

 

Reason to Watch

There are some great lines in this movie, along with frequent and funny allusions to other films. The send-up of the famous shower scene from Psycho is one of the film’s funniest moments, as are the scenes featuring the effeminate-yet-butch lead singer Beef (played hilariously by Gerritt Graham). Some of the music isn’t bad, either, which isn’t surprising. Paul Williams created the score and wrote the songs for the film at the height of his career.

Context

Phantom of the Paradise came out at the height of the early 70s “Weird=Good” era. It bombed at the box office initially, but quickly became a cult favorite, especially in Canada, where it ran for a year.

If your idea of a good rock musical-movie is one that takes its music very seriously, then this flick will probably piss you off a bit. However, if you like music and films that make fun of themselves and the culture in which they were made, you’ll have a lot of fun.

Most Memorable Quote(s)
  • Beef: I know drug -real from real-real.
  • Beef: The karma in here is so thick you need an aqualung to breathe.
  • Beef: Swan, this was scored for a chick. I’m not doing it in drag.

 

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

There’s something for everybody here: horror, comedy, rock music and romance. If you can’t find something to like in this movie, then a movie may not be able to help you, anyway. This is supposed to be fun, it’s supposed to be silly and it’s supposed to be weird. It succeeds beautifully.

Grab some throwback snacks and  just enjoy the movie for what it is. Like all cult classics, it requires you to loosen up a bit, so do some stretching beforehand.

Trivia

Originally, Paul Williams was supposed to play the Phantom and Gerrit Graham was supposed to play Swan. Everyone switched roles just a couple of weeks before shooting started. Paul Williams felt he wasn’t quite scary enough. The diminutive songwriter who brought us “Just An Old-Fashioned Love Song” may have been right. But he’s nicely sleazy as Swan.

The actors who play the three bands in the film (The Juicy Fruits, The Beach Bums and The Undead) all did their own choreography, then just showed up to shoot.

Educational Content
  • If someone asks you to sign a contract in blood, you really need to have a lawyer look at it first.
  • Never face plant on a record press.
Justification for Rating

The movie does everything it sets out to do. Cheesy, yes, but not unsuccessful.

Clip

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2n5qVJEg3qA

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Review of Starstruck (1982)

Musical Comments Off on Review of Starstruck (1982)

Starstruck

Rating: ★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Review

For one reason or another, Australia does “the musical” well. They rarely take it too serious, and they always add some innovative and relatively interesting flair to the experience to make it stick out among the wide breadth of musical films (Wait…there are a lot of them?). Regardless, Starstruck is stupid as it is awesome, like watching a homoerotic adventure of two racist hillbilies, Starstruck is a train wreck of a film begging to be challenged. Starstruck fails to challenge you mentally, but it does challenger your ears with a whole slew of awful songs playing on cliches of the theater world. if you thought Glee was bad, watch Starstruck tackle Hollywood fame and musical elitism, through the eyes of a typical Australian pop star. Don’t kill yourself yet, you haven’t even seen it!

Reason to Watch

It’s like a lamer more idiotic Hairspray, if Hairspray was lame or dumb. that makes sense, right?

Context

Even though many people just want to sort of forget that Australia, like, exists and stuff, we can at least be confident that they can manage some rather interesting little musicals. Though they aren’t really worth watching, their still proof that everyone in that country has no concerns whatever except “the dance.”

Most Memorable Quote(s)
  • Nana: Lay off him, my love. you know he has a plate in his head
  • Jackie: guitars are phallic symbols, and guitarists masturbate for a living. So God only knows why you’d need me
What You Need to Get Through This Movie

A gay friend to translate what is happening in “gay talk”

Trivia
Educational Content

$25,000 will make you rich and change your life forever

Singing is cool, until it gets in the way of “fammilllyyy…”

Justification for Rating

Ok, so it’s a musical and it has themes of family and togetherness and love. It’s still really really dumb

Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nro78Z_kYRY

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