Review
With the latest movie from Kevin Smith, “Zack and Miri Make a Porno” coming out soon, I thought this would be a good time to take a look at some of the moments from the career of everybody’s favorite pot-smoking, comic book-reading, Star Wars-obsessing director, Kevin Smith.
Best
Clerks:
when Dante and Randal debate whether “Storm Troopers” are innocent bystanders when the Death Star blows up in “Return of the Jedi”.
Reason: This scene puts a hilarious twist on one of the many plot holes that plagued the Star Wars trilogy.
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Vulgar
Reason: While he did not write or direct it, Vulgar did have clown rape. Lots and lots of clown rape.
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Dogma:
Reason: A preachy and trite movie about religion. While not really that funny or insightful, it had George Carlin – so that has to be worth something, right?
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Joey Lauren Adams
Reason: Gave hope to overweight Star Wars geeks that they, too, could sleep with girls way out of their league. Only catch is you still have to be famous. Sorry.
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Worst Moments:
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back:
Reason: A garbage movie made more for them than their audience. Yes, we get that you like Star Wars and Pot.
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Mallrats:
Reason: A movie about a sad attempt at post-teenage, angst. If not for Jason Lee, this movie would have been forgettable, at best.
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Chasing Amy:
Reason: Guy meets dyke, dyke and guy fall in love, guy loses dyke. Their I just saved you two hours. You’re welcome.
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Catch and Release:
Reason: Are you freaking kidding me? Has pot become so expensive that you have to make a movie where you try to sleep with perennial white trash prom queen Juliette Lewis? On its own this movie is even bad for a chick flick
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Jersey Girl
Reason: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez. ‘Nuff said…
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Joey Lauren Adams voice is awful
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There are no plot holes in the Star Wars trilogy.
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I’m going to have to completely disagree with you about Chasing Amy. That was one of my favorite movies for a loooooooong time. And come on–where would we all be in life without that famous fisting gesture?
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Don’t get me wrong the movie had some classic scenes in it, my personal favorite is The Black Rage one, freaking hysterical but it gets a little melodramatic at times. “Oh my girl friend was a whore so I will bang her and my best friend and everything will be cool!” Bah!
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Ok, first, clearly you have not seen Clerks II, that should defiantly be the worst. Second Mallrats was a right of passage for anyone born in the 80’s, and finally: What the hell is a list of Kevin Smith movies doing on this site anyway? Is there a Kevin Smith cult? God, if there is, please let them be into Kool-aid.
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Dogma was were I fell in love with Selma Hayek.
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Always nice to have a Jim Jones reference
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I believe in Jim Jones. Do you?
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i actually suffered through catch and release the other day… it was entirely too painful for words… but i’m sure some of the words i would have used would be goat, mechanical, lemonade, honda and accent…
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What kind of people prefer Kevin Smith?
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It’s a stupid line, but how many millions of morons, including myself, have quoted the following line, upon having to report to work unexpectedly… “I’m not even supposed to be here today!!!”
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I think we all have said that too much, but I personally feel that the line “This job would be great if it wasn’t for all the fucking customers!” That truly described my time in retail.
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Um… I can think of another bad Kevin Smith moment. Southwest Airlines! D’oh!
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You know the thing that got me about “Jay and silent Bob Strike Back” is this: you make a string of films for Disney (ops I mean a Disney subsidiary Lions Gate)after pretty much pretend you’re some huge ass champion for indie film, when in reality you’re kind of a pawn of one of the companies Corporate America has to offer. All I could think when I heard the title of that films after seeing it was “Jay and Silent Bob Strike back against independent film”
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