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Rating:

Review

This is one of those movies that is so bad that you HAVE to see it. Seriously, there is a reason that Manos: Hands of Fate has been named as the worst movie of all time. Bad music, bad acting, bad camera work, terribly boring driving sequences – Manos has it all!
The premise of the movie is a small family (husband, wife, and daughter) are on a roadtrip vacation. However, everything goes awry when they stop at a small inn to ask for directions. They meet Torgo, the goatman-esque secretary, and end up having to stay the night. NO MORE FUN VACATION! “The Master” shows up, who looks like Frank Zappa and wears a ridiculous robe, and torments the family like crazy.

Reason to Watch

If you sit through Manos: Hands of Fate, you will be a B-Movie master. It is infamously bad! However, the character of Torgo provides wonderful comedic relief. Whenever he enters the screen, his theme song is played. Plus he is delightful with his humongous fake knees and wobbly voice.

Context

Manos was filmed in the sixties, a time when many low quality horror films were being churned out. However, Manos takes the crown as being perhaps the worst movie OF ALL TIME.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

“The M-M-M-Master would not approve.”

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

To get through this movie you will need vodka strained seven times through a Brita filter for maximum potency. You will also need four shots of espresso. Drink the vodka until the movie makes sense, and take an espresso shot every time a long driving sequence is initiated so you don’t bore yourself to sleep.

Trivia

Torgo’s theme song was inspired by the life and times of Harriet S. Tubman.

Educational Content

Manos teaches us that getting your hand burned will kill you.

Justification for Rating

Manos gets just half of a point for being a pure pile of poop, but also one bonus point for Torgo, his theme song, and The Master’s wild robes. Hence, two points.