Country: US - Language: English - Parental Guide: NR - Color: Color
Rating: 
Review
Kazumi (Jon Moritsugu) and his girlfriend, Eightball, are just trying to make it by until the next score while his mom chats up the pizza boy, dad prepares for armageddon, brother Marvin discovers his sexuality, and sister Holly makes plans for a getaway. Bizarre, bloody, and gut-bustingly hilarious, Terminal USA is the best cult film ever made that you may never see. With zero distribution and cult video stores falling off the face of the planet, this gem will most likely slip further into cult obscurity (which is way worse than regular obscurity).
Reason to Watch
If for no other reason, Terminal USA is worth an hour out of your life for Marvin’s bizarre sexual awakening and fetish fulfillment at the hands of a group of violent skinheads.
Context
In 1993, real independent film was not yet considered a viable commodity (Pulp Fiction had not yet been released), so films like this were made on the cheap and then used to prop up wobbly desks. If Terminal USA had waited a year or so, it could easily have been one of the best cult movies ever.
Most memorable quote(s)
- “I am the pervert in the back bedroom!”
- “It’s a load of crap straight out the donkey’s ass!”
- “Confucius say, ‘Hospitals are for pussies.’”
- “You really sizzled my wiener, last night, girlie.”
What you need to get through this movie
With its ability to fit a ton of awesome into less than an hour, shove an “eightball” of lello up the nose to enjoy this film at maximum cool.
Trivia
Jon Moritsugu convinced PBS to finance a documentary about Japanese-Americans and instead made this fictional piece. It did, however, air on PBS between 1994-95.
Educational Content
- Japanese-Americans can be just as fucked up as any Caucasian one.
- Rocking horses provide the for the best masturbatory tools.
- Skinheads will get you and your entire family if you fuck with them.
- The Asian sex-slave trade is alive and well.
- Americans can’t tell the difference between Chinks and Japs.
- That hot phone-sex operator you call is really just a dude in drag. Why he dresses up to talk on the phone, we’ll never know.
Justification for Rating
Terminal USA is nearly perfect in every way. That’s all.
Clip
My rocking horse was never that cool
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Mine was.
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I want a rocking horse built for an adult.
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This movie makes less sense than this review. Honestly, I’ve never seen anything this bad, this funny. The gun shot scene alone is worth tracking down this film from your local pedophiliac drug dealer.
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“Confucius say, ‘Hospitals are for pussies.’” HAHHAHAHAHAA!
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Greg, you will one day admit this film’s brilliance! FIVE OUT OF A POSSIBLE FIVE! YOU CANNOT ARGUE! Okay, so maybe it doesn’t quite have the production value of your favorite move, ‘Highlander: The Source’, or the script quality of your second favorite film, ‘Waterworld’, or the expansive plot of your third favorite film, ‘Class of ’99’, but I stand by it irregardlesslynessishismly.
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Ooooh, you gotta do Highlander: The Source, next week.
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NO! I don’t think I can make it through that movie again. Come to think about it, I’ve tried watching that about three times, and have never made it through. It might make sense in the later scenes, or even radically improve to encapsulate some fine performances and interesting plot devices… but I doubt it.
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