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Rating:

Review

For one reason or another, Australia does “the musical” well. They rarely take it too serious, and they always add some innovative and relatively interesting flair to the experience to make it stick out among the wide breadth of musical films (Wait…there are a lot of them?). Regardless, Starstruck is stupid as it is awesome, like watching a homoerotic adventure of two racist hillbilies, Starstruck is a train wreck of a film begging to be challenged. Starstruck fails to challenge you mentally, but it does challenger your ears with a whole slew of awful songs playing on cliches of the theater world. if you thought Glee was bad, watch Starstruck tackle Hollywood fame and musical elitism, through the eyes of a typical Australian pop star. Don’t kill yourself yet, you haven’t even seen it!

Reason to Watch

It’s like a lamer more idiotic Hairspray, if Hairspray was lame or dumb. that makes sense, right?

Context

Even though many people just want to sort of forget that Australia, like, exists and stuff, we can at least be confident that they can manage some rather interesting little musicals. Though they aren’t really worth watching, their still proof that everyone in that country has no concerns whatever except “the dance.”

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• Nana: Lay off him, my love. you know he has a plate in his head
• Jackie: guitars are phallic symbols, and guitarists masturbate for a living. So God only knows why you’d need me

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

A gay friend to translate what is happening in “gay talk”

Trivia

• This film was one of three Australian movies made in Australia during 1981-1982 which were musicals. The films include Starstruck, The Pirate Movie and The Return of Captain Invincible. 
• The New Years Eve event scenes were filmed over the course of 3 days

Educational Content

$25,000 will make you rich and change your life forever

Singing is cool, until it gets in the way of “fammilllyyy…”

Justification for Rating

Ok, so it’s a musical and it has themes of family and togetherness and love. It’s still really really dumb

Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nro78Z_kYRY

Rating:

Review

Dorothy is a spoiled little girl who lives on a farm in Kansas with her Uncle Henry and Auntie Em. She runs away when the old lady down the street takes her dog (Toto) after he bit her, he escapes and comes back. Scared she will come back for him, they hit the road and eventually (like the pansy ass she is) come running home. But what’s this? There is a tornado and poor Dorothy and Toto can’t get into the shelter (I think they KNEW she was out there and they wanted her to get sucked up).  Anyways… Her and Toto end up flying through the air in the farm house and land with a quaint little “oh” from Dorothy.  They open the door to find a land of rainbows and sunshine, meet the good witch, give all the little munchkins boners, and piss off the bad witch. Sooo… Dorothy has to head out to Emerald City to meet the Wizard of Oz so she can get home. Along the way, she picks up three needy vagrants that also seek help from the Wizard. She manages to keep her dress on and they arrive, only to find out they need the witches broom before the Wizard will consider helping. They kill the bitch, bring back the broom and the Wizard turns out to be a fake then good witch shows up and gives Dorothy some bullshit that she could have went home whenever she wanted. Dorothy clicks her heels and wakes up from a dream, leaving you going WTF… cop out of an ending if you ask me!

Reason to Watch

Because you have children and want to teach them that running away will land them in Munchkin hell with a witch trying to murder their innocent little asses.

Context

For 1939 the graphics of this film were considered cutting edge. Musicals were very popular during that time and all I can say is thank God that phase is over!

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• “I don’t think we are in Kansas anymore”
• “I’m Melting, I’m Melting”
• “Auntie Em! Auntie Em!”
• “There’s no place like home”
• “I’ll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!”
• “Follow the yellow brick road”

Trivia

Judy Garland couldn’t stop giggling while filming the scene in which Dorothy slaps the Cowardly Lion. So the director, Victor Fleming, took her aside and slapped her. She returned to the set and filmed the scene in one take. KUDOS to Victor for that one! Munchkins earned $50 per week, while Toto bagged $125 per week.  L Frank Baum received $75,000 for the rights to his book.

Educational Content

Never trust creepers behind curtains, monkey’s are evil creatures and living on a farm in Kansas would SUCK!

Clip

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aopdD9Cu-So

Rating:

Review

The Rocky Horror Picture Show is infamous for being so overtly stupid yet endearing. Very few films have elegantly balanced the bizarre and stupid with the enthralling nature of great film. So here we have a horror film, but not really. And here we have a musical, though only slightly. The Rocky Horror Picture Show is a comedy driven by dark horror elements and musical odes to weirdness. It is hard to sum up the film (took me an hour to craft that exquisite previous sentence), but if any film needs to be watched to be even slightly understood, it is this one. Expect a little adventure of a recently engaded couple in a mansion surrounded by vampires and transvestites and vampire transvestites. Whoa.

Reason to Watch

I would say there is Susan Sarandon in her prime, but that’s like praising John Goodman’s looks in his prime, or Morgan Freeman  circa The Shawshank Redemption. Just didn’t do it for me. But on a serious note, homoerotic monsters sing acapella, so if that is more your style, you will be right in heaven.

Context

The Rocky Horror Picture Show is equitably the best horror musical ever, and in a time where any vampire in film or television is a huge pussy, it’s shocking to see the transvestite ones the most classic vampire-ish.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• Frank: [singing] I’m just a sweet transvestite, from Transsexual Transylvania. 
• Magenta: I ask for nothing! 
  Frank: And you shall receive it, IN ABUNDANCE! 

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

You will probably need some proper ambiance- fake spiderwebs, a purple vampire cape, hanging skeletons, creepy flickering lights, and a case of Budweiser to make it all work together perfectly.

Trivia

The film runs in two key versions, one for U.S. release and the other U.K. The U.S. version originally omitted the singing part “Super Heroes” because studio executives thought it was too depressing

The movie was banned in South Africa, only after 250,000 viewers already saw it in the region

Director Jim Sharman was originally offered a much larger budget if he hired popular actors at the time, but refused instead taking a smaller budget and using actors from the theater version

Educational Content

• Musical’s aren’t always just stupid, sometimes their stupid and awesome
• Don’t get married and drive off somewhere or else you may end up singing with erotically-infused tenors

Justification for Rating

The film is undoubtedly a little dated, but the charm and appeal of the Rocky Horror Picture Show is well intact. It doesn’t quite fit that ‘so bad it’s good” vibe typical of classic cult films, because the production values and singing is top notch- for better or worse.

Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcmq-8rcEKg