Action

Review of The Phantom Ship

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Phantom ShipRating: ★★★½☆☆☆☆☆☆

Review

This movie is the action/thriller/mystery/horror film about the legendary Marie Celeste. A phantom ship that was found floating adrift in the ocean in 1872. The ship was still fully stocked with the goods it was preparing to deliver. The sails were fully set and no one was found on board.
The movie is a fictionalized account of what they believe might have happened. In the story, the crew are disgruntled from day one when they were forced to join the crew. The animosity is present at the start and each member of the crew has their own reason for wanting the captain dead. To make matters worse, he has brought his new bride which only adds to the tension.
It doesn’t help that the person in charge of the crew hands is sadistic and continually beats the crew. He is brutal and mean, and it sets the sailors all on edge.

Reason to Watch

This movie is a classic B picture. If you are looking for great acting…this ain’t it! The movie is worth watching for 2 reasons.
1. The overacting, especially Bela Lugosi, is worth watching. It’s truly comical to watch how some of the actors in this movie contort their fact to show the horror of what is happening.
2. The big murder scene, we see one of the characters getting shot in the butt. You would think this would just knock him to the ground, instead we see him do a classic over the top death, with a quick shot to the butt.

Context

This movie was made when Bela was a big star. I’m sure this was a vehicle that they had hoped would draw off his star power. Done in the 50s, and in black and white, there was no need for big special effects.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

“Black cat…that’s bad.”

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

I would recommend watching this movie with a high potent energy drink. While spots have some comedic value, there are times this story draaaags!

Trivia

I couldn’t find any trivia for this movie…sorry.

Educational Content

It’s amazing in the movie that even though they just threw the corpse in, there was a shark immediately there to be attracted to it. I have always understood that sharks are actually attracked to the movement and thrashing…and that if you are near a shark, you shouldn’t move so it would swim by.

Justification for Rating

While you may find yourself wondering if you should set the snooze alarm to keep yourself awake, there are moments this movie isn’t that bad. The story is pretty well written, but the acting prevents you from fully enjoying it.

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Horror

Review of White Zombie

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White Zombie Rating: ★★★½☆☆☆☆☆☆

Review

Madeleine and Neil are a young couple in love (roses are red, violets are blue and so on…). As it happens in movies, someone yet is in love with Madeleine. That someone is Beaumont, who invites them on his Haitian plantation to be married there. Madeleine and Neil agree without knowing of his intentions. Beaumont decided to get married with Medelein in any way. He asked for help the local voodoo sorcerer who is called Legendre who will try to help him in his intentions…….Enough from me, U have to watch the rest……

Reason to Watch

Actors = good, story…OK – good idea, movie – slow, and zombies do look pretty pitiful. But, helloooo, those are 30’s! What do you expect?! So if you are a horror movie fan go on and watch the movie because it DOES have its moments, even if they’re few.

Context

It is the first film dealing with zombies, a popular horror film subject of the last forty years, first released on August 4, 1932. This is classic Lugosi movie and helped set the tone for the future of horror.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

Beaumont: “I thought that beauty would be enough for me—but the soul is gone!” Legosi: “Fuck you, bitch! Hows ’bouts you be my zombie, too!”

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

There is only one black actor in the movie and rest of the “black population” in the movie are white people with their faces colored to black.

Trivia

There is only one black actor in the movie and rest of the “black population” in the movie are white people with their faces colored to black.

Educational Content

If some girl don’t want you, just turn her into a zombie.

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Horror

Review of Werewolf Woman

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Werewolf Woman Rating: ★★★★½☆☆☆☆☆

Review

Believe it or not kids, there was once a day when porn was not a mouse click away. Back in those days we had find other ways to see boobs and horror films provided that opportunity — I remember the joys seeing The Hunger for the first time, that section of video took some ware and tear I can tell you. So why this relevant? Well “Werewolf Woman” is basically a softcore porn film mascarading as a horror. So the film starts of with naked woman dancing around surrounded by fire before she turns into a werewolf and kills some people. Flash forward to the modern day where distant relative Daniella Neseri (Annik Borel) having been raped now makes an emotional connection to her families past and goes and kills some men by biting out their throats. Now she does not turn into a were-wolf she just acts like one. She is however cured when she falls in love with a stuntman, they run a long by sea and she laughs as he jumps through windows, but she is later raped by 3 men and her boyfriend is killed, this sets her off again and she ends up in an asylum. This is campy 70s horror, red red blood and loads of pointless nudity, best of all it is based on a true story, but any similarities between anyone real purely coincidental.

Reason to Watch

Well porn is pretty easy to get hold of these days, so the number one reason to see this film is out. So my vote goes for the story that sees woman running around naked biting out people’s throats. Just super.

Context

This is a typical exploitation horror film of 70s and staple for Director Rino Di Silvestro whose other films included “The Erotic Dreams of Cleopatra”, “Sex Slayer” and “Love and Death in a Women’s Prison”. The nudity goes beyond what would be seen in English language horror films and was even dubbed a video nastie and banned in the UK.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

“I saw you making love with Fabin, it was obscene, disgusting, but you liked it.” “Daniella, did you see that fall, wasn’t it gay!”

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

I suggest watching this movie like a teenager from the 80s. That means a box of tissues and the video remote control so you can fast forward the boring medical shit and get straight to the porn.

Trivia

Annik Borel (also seen in “Blood Orgy of the She Devils”) made 2 more movies before she quit acting never to be seen again. The film was marketed under several titles including “Daughter of a Werewolf”, “Naked Werewolf Woman”, “Terror of the She Wolf” and bizzarly in America “The Wolf Man”. Selected by Quentin Tarantino for the First Quentin Tarantino Film Fest in Austin, Texas, 1996. Tarantino had actually never seen the picture before he screened it. He loved it so much that all subsequent Film Fests had a surprise movie added to the end of each all-nighter known as the “Wolf Woman” selection; defined as an outrageous exploitation film sure to wake the audience up. “Wolf Women” selections over the years have included The Blood Spattered Bride and Mighty Peking Man.

Educational Content

1. Trained stuntmen can fall off buildings, fly through windows, but can’t take a chair to the back.
2. You are going to be at least as crazy your ancestors.
3. Avoid nude women in the woods.
4. Don’t make a She-wolf give you a blow job.
5. She-wolfs have really hairy boobs.
6. Stunt men can’t resist jumping through windows to impress the ladies.

Justification for Rating

Well this film was a lot of fun, although I could have done with less nudity and more wolf, but I guess the costume and make-up department blew their load on the opening sequence. It is great tale of revenge, the wicked are punished and the only victim is everyone else.

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Horror

Review of Tormented

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TormentedRating: ★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Review

movie is about a successful piano player who lives on the remote island community, married to a rich highs society girl. Here tom should be get reed of marilyn like Mistress Vi lateron once. she falls from light house, but Vi comes back to haunt tom, this haunt by the Vi is done by body part by body part which was excellently picturized by the director. The only backdrop of the movie is it suffers from too many scenes in which protagonist (Richard Carlson). Wanders around the beach and talking to himself. Its overall not a bad movie, and can be watched for a horror, content of the movie

Reason to Watch

Horror and thrilling scenes makes everybody to watch whole movie.

Context

most part of the movie was picturized at Malibu, California USA

Most Memorable Quote(s)

A ghost women owned him body and soul

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

Music composition especially the piano played by Tom was excellent

Trivia

Portion of the score, actually came from william Castle’s House on hunted Hill

Educational Content

films shows that unbelieveable facts about the existence of ghosts

Justification for Rating

Horror scenes shown in the movie was very good and interesting and sound effects is good

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Horror

Review of The Witches’ Mountain

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El Monte de las brujasRating: ★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆

Review

If you came here looking for someone to explain what the hell this film is about then you have come to wrong place. This film feels like the director started making one movie, the lead actress dropped out and so was forced to make something else, but he didn’t have time to finish it so just stuck the movies together in the hope that would notice. The films starts off with some cat killing little brat getting burned alive by her mother. Following this mother decides to go on holiday, but her ex boyfriend (Cihangir Gaffari)is not interested so that woman disappears and her ex boyfriend gets his camera and goes on a trip through the Pyrenees, but not before he picks up some other girl he found sun bathing on the beach. Pretty soon we find out that the Pyrenees is home to car jacking witches who hate un-married couples. The film pretty much ends there and it feel like there are some reels missing in the middle and at the end. But the Spanish women are sexy and when a film stars a man like Cihangir Gaffari who knows how to wear a moustache there is little to complain about.

Reason to Watch

Any films that starts with a little girl getting burned alive by her mother gets my thumbs up and again Cihangir’s tash has to be seen to be believed. Not only that but the music score is crazy, it’s like 80 minutes of Damien from the Omen looking intensely at the camera while a choir goes bonkers with stuff about god.

Context

The early 70s was a time where men were men and women a-moral whores. The Witches Mountain goes to show that you can either join the playboy party with the big hair, perfectly groomed moustached photographer or live on a mountain with other lonely spinsters.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

Little Girl: That cat won’t hurt you any more, I killed it.

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

Make sure you have the remote control handy because if you don’t you might think the dog sat on the mute button. In between the choir belting out the greatest Gothic hits there is dead silence. You might also want to watch it in darkness, not to make it scary, but just so you can see what is going on.

Trivia

Director Raúl Artigot picked up a special mention at the 1973 Sitges – Catalonian International Film Festival, although it is unclear if this was a good thing or they meant “special” like the “special” kid in your school who had wear mittens.

Educational Content

1. If your dump your crazy girl friend and she comes back, get away from her as soon as possible.
2. Chicks love it when you unsuspecting take photos of them on the beach with a long lens camera.
3. Crazy eyed inn-keeper’s are hint from God not to stay in that Inn.
4. If you have the choice to sleep in a tent or in the car choose the tent… unless you are on mountain populated by witches.
5. A perfectly groomed moustache doesn’t just impress the chicks, it impresses everyone.

Justification for Rating

The plot makes no sense, half the film appears to be missing and the dubbing is terrible, but Cihangir Gaffari tash is to die for.

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