CultFlicks.net

Rating:

Review

They Live is a seriously stupid movie, yet interestingly, that sort of reflects the culture of the times and the themes of the film. They Live has aliens ruling the world through television (media) turning all the people into slaves of the aliens (media). The people consume and consume to fuel the aliens strive for dominance, and the people are powerless to stop them. It seems like a terrible C-grade alien flick, and it most certainly is. But it also speaks on the culture of the era in a weird way. After John Carpenter took a break from milking the tit of the Halloween franchise, he encapsulated an overall thought process with intrigue and suspense, encased in a shell of a stupid movie.

Reason to Watch

They Live doesn’t pander to you as much as you deserve it to, and for that, it is worth your time.

Context

It’s a throwback to 50’s alien-grade visuals, and it has underlining messages of mass-consumerism and greed helmed by John Carpenter. Not bad for a one trick pony.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• Nada: I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass… and I’m all out of bubblegum. 
• Nada: Wooo. It’s like a drug. Wearing these glasses gets you high, but you come down hard. 
• Bearded Man: We could be pets, we could be food, but all we really are is livestock. 

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

All your receipts of the all the shit you bought in the last year, to make yourself feel bad and bring yourself into the movie with greater aplomb

Trivia

• The line “I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass, and I’m all out of bubble gum” was ad-libbed by Roddy Piper. According to director John Carpenter, Piper had taken the line from a list of ideas he had for his pro wrestling interviews. 
• Roddy Piper, being a married man at the time of filming, refused to take his wedding band off. That’s why in several scenes you can see a wedding ring on. 

Educational Content

If aliens were to invade, the first place they would go is to the televison stations

Mullets- still not retro

You may be married to, sleeping with, or sitting next to an alien. Men in Black taught you this one as well

Justification for Rating

Well, it’s a movie.

Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inZUDMGJsKo

Piranha DVD Cover

Rating:

Reason to Watch

Piranha are in the water. People shouldn’t go into the water, but they do. Other people know the piranha are there and shouldn’t go in the water to check it out, but they do. Piranha should differentiate between victims and People Who Are Just Evaluating The Situation, but they don’t.

This 1978 film is one of the cheap, scary-but-not-horror movies that were so prevalent then. Most of them were really bad and this one lives up to the standard. The acting is bad, the dialogue is worse and if anything in the plot surprises you, you’re too young to watch this movie. Go back to bed and don’t forget your teddy.

Context

Somebody wanted to make a movie about a killer animal, but all the sexy ones were taken. So were all of the good actors.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• Dumont: People eat fish, Grogan. Fish don’t eat people.
• Piranhas: Skree, skree, skree

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

A sense of humor or a really slow night on Netflix. But making up dialogue for the piranhas can be fun.

Trivia

In 2010, someone thought it would be a good idea to do a remake in 3-D. Hopefully, the actors had better clothes.

Educational Content

• Piranha make funny shrieking noises when they attack. Kind of like some people do at a Chinese buffet.
• If you wear corduroys pulled up to your armpits with a nice wide belt, you’re more likely to get eaten by piranhas.

Justification for Rating

It sucks like a Dyson.
Clip:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoCKGvVlNYM

Ginger Snaps DVD Cover

Rating:

Review

Your first clue to the type of movie you’re about to see is the title, which is a play on words in a couple of witty ways. Ginger is the name of the lead character who is bitten and infected by a werewolf on the day she gets her period.  She then goes on a killing spree, as any self-respecting werewolf would. It’s also a euphemism for a quick, unexpected dog bite. This kind of black comedy is what you’re in for, along with a good bit of gore.

Ginger and her sister consider themselves weird because they stage and photograph bloody death scenes. Then they find out that they’re really weird because one of them is now a werewolf. Your basic heavy metal, sex kitten kinda werewolf, but a lycanthrope nonetheless. A pissy one, too.

Reason to Watch

If you’re into some pretty heavy gore, like pretty young women, dark humor and metal music, you’re probably going to be a happy little viewer.  If you’re into analysis of such films, you can ponder the fact that this film was praised for using werewolfism as a metaphor for puberty. To this reviewer (a female) , it seemed more like a tongue-in-cheek illustration of how deadly women can become when they’re on their period.

Context

This film started production right after Colombine and took quite a publicity hit for its glorifcation of teen violence.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• Ginger: The fuck, Bee. This is your idea. If you don’t like your ideas, stop having them.
• Bridget: Are you sure it’s just cramps?
  Ginger: Just so you know… the words “just” and “cramps,” they don’t go together.

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

Midol and a silver belly ring.

Educational Content

• Silver belly rings do not contain enough silver to cure werewolfism.
• Being a werewolf apparently makes you quite horny.

Justification for Rating

It’s heavy on the gore and a bit on the depressing side, even for horror. However, the occasional humor is quite good. In fact, writer Karen Walton won an International Horror Award for Pretty Funny Writing. Not making that up.

Clip

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zoa1A987A_k

Rating:

Review

A gang of young kids driving through Texas in a van hear stories of killings in the area… feeling invincible they continue on until they pick up a hitchiker who is obsessed with telling them the killing methods they use at the slaughterhouse he works at. After the hitchiker slashes his hands, sets shit on fire and demands money, they kick him out of the van, but not before he cuts the hand of wheelchair riding Franklin. They run out of gas after kickin’ out the hitchslasher and Kirk, the driver, heads for an old house and becomes the first to meet Leatherface and his mallet. Kirks girlfriend Pam comes after him only to end up fatality number 2, this time with a pretty little hook shoved through her back. Jerry, rings in at number 3, falling victim to the mallet.
The only ones left now are Franklin and his sister Sally… after nobody comes back to the van they figure it’s time to go find them. Franklin, obviously easy prey, is next as Leatherface takes him down. Sally is now left all alone and leads Leatherface on a long chase that ends with her being held up in Leatherface’s house with him and his fucked up family. Between the furniture being made out of human bones and the hitchslasher from earlier being one of the family members, Sally, being the bright girl she is in this movie, realizes she should probably get the hell out there. She manages to escape, gives chase again… this time leaving Leatherface behind.

Reason to Watch

Next weeks dinner ideas.

Context

Made “presumably” on true events and had a much larger impact on audiences in 1974 than it would now. Not a lot of gore and blood, but a nice sense of terror for the most port.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• “My family’s always been in” meat”
• “That’s the last goddamn hitchhiker I ever pick up”
• “I just can’t take no pleasure in killing. There’s just some things you gotta do. Don’t mean you have to like it”

What You Need to Get Through This Movie

A couple of napkins and some of that home made chili from the old smelly couple down the street.

Trivia

• Despite the implications of the film’s title, only one victim is killed by a chainsaw (Franklin).
• The financing for this film came from profits made off Deep Throat (1972).
• Uncredited and then unknown John Larroquette provided the narration

Educational Content

Never pick up hitchhikers, never trust a man who uses human skin as a facial mask, and never eat chili in Texas.

Clip

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-73BUDHcCCc

Rating:

Review

The movie starts with a quick introduction of Frank – a sadist looking for the ultimate pleasure. He buys this puzzle from this dude and while messing around with it opens the doors to a world of wonder and joy, filled with chains, hooks and random body parts. Forward ahead several years… Franks brother Larry along with his new wife Julia and daughter Kirsty move into Franks abandoned house. When Larry bust open a vein and spills some blood on the attic floor Frank is magically resurrected, with a catch. His body is only half intact and to get back into shape he needs more blood. Frank reaches out to Julia,  who he use to have vicious, hard-core romps in the sack with before his disappearance. Julia, who never stopped craving Frank to begin with starts whoring herself out to get Frank some dinner. Kirsty, who has already moved out to get away from the bitch, starts wondering just wth her mommy dearest is up to and follows her, watches her bring home her latest trist and comes face to face with the not-quite-completed Frank. She escapes with the box and wakes up in the hospital. After piddle-fucking around with it she solves it, summoning a great group of guys called the Cenobites. They come to claim her body and soul until she tells them she can give them Frank – who they were pretty peeved with. They agree, Kirsty goes hoem to retrieve Frank for her new friends and find he has taken over her dad’s body. The Cenobites welcome Frank back with open arms and Kirsty is off the hook..

Reason to Watch

If for no other reason, you gotta watch to see Julia lay one on Franks adorable face.

Context

Unique story line for it’s time. Original, sadistic and gruesome without being to cheesy.

Most Memorable Quote(s)

• “We have such sights to show you”
• “No tears please, it’s a waste of good suffering”
• “Welcome to the worst nightmare of all… reality!”

Trivia

• The film’s original title was “Sadomasochists From Beyond The Grave”
• The budget for this film was $1 million dollars
• The film is based on Clive Barker’s book “The Hellbound Heart”

Educational Content

The school systems would do good to replace traditional sex-ed classes with this film.

Justification for Rating

I gave it a 10 based on originality, the creepy factor, and I love seeing people hit in the head with hammers.

Clip

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAx34IZ8bTk